How do I Fight the Battle I Have With Bulimia?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
(Romans 12:1-2)

LEARN

Let’s be real here: it’s hard to be a woman in today’s society. It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is telling you who or what you need to be - how to truly be a woman. “Real women have thighs”, “real women wear __ size pants”, “real women eat cheeseburgers”, “real women don’t weigh above ___ pounds” - the world seems to have a hundred different versions of what a “real woman” looks and acts like. And, if we’re still being real here, it’s absolutely crushing.

As a woman who struggles with being a perfectionist, and has spent her whole life in a world that’s constantly shouting instructions for so-called “perfection”, I’ve gotten to see the damage these expectations have done in my own life. In fact, I was impacted by them so heavily that for nearly four years I battled an eating disorder.

Now, before we start, I’d like to set the record straight : eating disorders are ugly; they’re soul-crushing and all-consuming, and unfortunately, so often they are also invisible. At least, that was the case for me. Because of the idea of what “real eating disorders” look like, nobody ever noticed that I was unhealthy - including myself - until I was already so deeply engulfed. I had an off-and-on relationship with Bulimia through many seasons of my life; at first it seemed so trivial, and later, just another one of my quirks. So what if I lost 15 pounds in a week, right? It wasn’t a big deal, I had bigger things to worry about. But this quirk, this “small issue”, just sat inside of me, growing stronger and stronger, until it saw an opening - then it took over completely.

Now, this all started before I was a follower of Christ. It wasn’t until nearly 3 years into having this disorder that I finally accepted that Jesus is Lord, and things finally started looking up. I can’t tell you that all of my problems were fixed as soon as I accepted Jesus into my life - it doesn’t quite work like that - but I can tell you that through Jesus, I was given a fighting chance to finally win this one battle. So, if you’re sitting at your computer screen and feeling that drop in your stomach, which is probably either a little too empty or a little too full, please keep reading - this is for you.

Your body does not belong to you. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Your body belongs to God, so why are you mistreating it? If you were to house-sit for a close friend, would you let all of their plants wither and die, or would you do your very best to keep them alive? Why aren’t you willing to steward your own body well in tribute to the Lord?

I know that right now, food rules your life, but it shouldn’t. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17). The kingdom of God is so much bigger than the calories you’re counting, the meals you’re eating or not eating, or the size of your body. Your Father loves you more than you can imagine, and He made you in His own image. This is a battle God never wanted for you to fight, but He will give you the strength to fight it, and eventually, come out victorious.

KNOW

• There is no one shape or size that glorifies the Lord.

• Your value comes only from the Lord.

• Do you believe that a perfect God made a mistake when he made your body?

• Do you see yourself through the eyes of the world, or through the eyes of Jesus?

• Does restricting or binging give you a sense of control over an aspect of your life?

• What do you see when you look in the mirror: a daughter of the King, or only flaws?

• What is the root of your distorted relationship with food?

• It’s not good to do things alone. Even God Himself lives in community within the Trinity.

DO

• If seeing yourself in the mirror causes you to tear apart your imperfections, cover it up.

• Remind yourself to have the mind of Christ.

• When you think something negative about yourself, ALWAYS combat that with truths from God.

• Pray before you eat. Ask God to calm your anxieties about eating, and to give you the strength to overcome these struggles.

• Confess your struggles to someone close to you, and ask them for help. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Ask this person to keep you accountable with healthy eating habits, and confess to them whenever you are struggling.

• Keep a journal of what food you eat each day for 1 week. After the week is over, go back and reflect on your journal, and ask yourself these questions

  • Are these patterns healthy and sustaining?

  • How did I physically feel on these days? How did I emotionally feel?

  • Was my eating directed by lies I’m believing, or was it directed by the desire to glorify God?

  • Am I stewarding my body well?

It might seem like things get worse before they get better, but if you’re willing to fight, I promise they WILL get better. Just keep on fighting, sister, and remember that the Lord is with you for every step.

What Does it Mean to be a Woman of God?

Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts crying, “Abba! Father!” so you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Galatians 4:5-7

LEARN

Here we find ourselves again, back into the pages of the Word, searching out identities. What does it mean to be a woman of God? Does it change when you go from single to married, or have a child? Or does our identity in Christ go deeper than fathomable, trickling its way into every other aspect of our lives, no matter the stage? I believe, the core of your identity lies deeper than woman, sister, mother, single, or married. Sweet Sister, you are daughter.

Galatians 4:5-7 and so many more New Testament scriptures, talk about our identity as the children of God. I love this passage in Galatians though, because it shows us the beginning glimpse of what it means to be daughter. I almost inserted [daughter] everywhere it said “son” to drive a deeper meaning, but think about this. The people Paul was talking to still lived in a patriarchal system of inheritance. The eldest son would receive the greatest portion of the father’s land, money, livestock, etc. When this verse talks about our adoption as sons, it is talking about us becoming the heir (by rights of adoption) of everything that God has to give. EVERYTHING! The coolest part is we get to tap into that right now! We are not waiting on certain stipulations, to be able to tap into our trust fund. We have our inheritance at our finger tips.

Now hand in hand with our daughterhood, is a deeper understanding of Fatherhood. They come together. I don’t believe you can really dive into learning one, without receiving new revelation on the other. To the extent that you believe God is a good and loving father, is the extent you will believe his goodness and his adoption of you as his daughter. Our Father is good. God is good. He WANTS to bless you with the best He has. When He has an Arabian race horse, He isn’t going to just hand you a Lisa Frank color by number from the 90’s. I think where we get confused on his goodness, is that he might start you out with riding lessons, on the 15 year-old, super gentle horse (before the race horse is even born) then give you racing lessons (while he trains the race horse), then when it’s time here comes the beautiful race horse (at the time when you know how to race, and the horse has been trained). This is a big picture in a small space, so here’s what I want you to know.

KNOW

1. You were chosen before the foundation of the world. You were predestined to be a daughter of

God (Ephesians 1:5). In other words, God very much thinks you matter.

2. Once you accept Jesus into your heart and receive Salvation, God becomes your adoptive father.

3. God is a good God.

4. God is the best father.

5. God WANTS to bless you with the best things.

6. You are a daughter of the most high God. He is ruler of the kingdom of heaven. You have access

to what he has in heaven (think the Lord’s prayer- on earth as it is in heaven).

7. No matter what stage of life you are in, meditate on this, and watch it change your perspective

for the best.

DO

Here are some more of the verses that talk about our sonship:

John 1:12, Romans 8:14-19, Romans 9:8, Galatians 3:26, Ephesians 1:5, Ephesians 2:9, Ephesians 3:6,

1 John 3:1, 1 John 3:2

Psalms 27:10

The list goes on and on, but I hope this stirs up a hunger for you to seek out God as our father, and what

it means to be his daughter.

Much love,

Anna

How to Handle Different Types of Conflict?

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any
affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:1-5

LEARN

We need you. You, with the fiery spirit and an appetite for debate. You, who loves the challenge ahead and wants the world to watch you stand your ground. You, who can so simply direct the masses with your dynamic and resounding voice.

And you, over there, sitting against the wall, quietly taking it all in. Not a word has escaped your lips as you watch the “loud and brave” girls shine. We need you too.

I have talked to so many women who at some point battle with shame, finding they fit into one of these categories and not the other. I have listened as some of the strongest women I know, women who I deeply admire, tell me they think no one likes them, because they are too direct and assertive. They fall into a trapping stigma that women are only meant to be docile. Then there are the others, myself included, who think because we don’t say our thoughts for the world to hear, that our voice will never have a place. I have watched shame cloak us like a blanket, rocking us into a sweet apathetic place of discord amongst ourselves.

My sweet sisters, we need you. End of story. There is so much we can learn about conflict from each other. Please don’t shy away from someone who handles conflict differently then you; but if they are a woman fixed on God, humble and willing to learn as they teach, then lean in. Find out what helps them through conflict. Ask them how they handle confrontation. Ask them how they could handle a confrontation better.

Jesus has so much to say about conflict and confrontation. He did not live a life free of conflict while he
was on this earth. However, he maneuvered confrontation in a way that would ultimately bring unity among people. Unity is the goal. No matter your nature, you can learn to engage in great communication and to have any confrontation be constructive.

As one of the quiet ones I have always loved having friends whose personalities may appear stronger than my own. They challenge me. They have helped me grow. I pray for a hunger and eagerness among us to learn how to communicate and have constructive confrontations with one another where the goal is to lead us into a greater unity.

KNOW

1. You are needed. Your unique identity is needed.
2. How you engage in any confrontation matters. It is a topic, though challenging, very worth the study. We can all grow in our abilities.
3. The end goal is not to be right, but to bring unity.

DO

Some great resources are:

1. “Keep Your Love On!” by Christian author Danny Silk. This is a book that I personally bought multiple copies of (super cheap on Amazon) and passed them out to a bunch of my friends and family. That’s how good it is. It is a super easy read. He also has a blog on his website, Loving On Purpose, that has some amazing articles to help you in conflict and confrontation. Well worth the quick read.

2. Lastly, if you haven’t started diving into Brene Brown’s work, I strongly recommend “Daring Greatly.” In this book she talks a lot about cultivating “shame resilience” and learning “wholeheartedness”. I believe this is something that will greatly affect the love you hold, when a confrontation comes your way.

How Can I Be More Quick to Listen & Slow to Speak?

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."  

Romans 12:17-18

LEARN

Confrontation is hard, it's awkward, and it hurts.  No wonder most people avoid it at all costs, but we can't avoid conflict; it's a part of life.  The question is, when conflict arises how do we deal with it?  Do you retreat/ avoid?  Are you a full-fledged "let's hash this out now" kind of a person?  Do you sit on it for a while then bring it up later?  Do you bottle everything up until you explode?  Maybe sometimes we all are a little bit of everything depending on the timing and how big the situation is.

As a mom it's easy to tell your kid, "Treat others as you want to be treated."  But when it comes to practicing that myself it's a little trickier.  I give excuses.  I feel I have the right to respond a certain way or to be vengeful (even if it's in a more subtle way).  The Bible is clear that vengeance belongs to the Lord and what I am supposed to do is be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19).  I am to be patient, to be kind and gentle, to forgive and to keep forgiving.  Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times'."

Isn't it so difficult to swallow the fact that when we've been wronged over and over again we are still commanded to forgive?  It doesn't feel fair when at times what you do in comparison is "not that bad."  Well, one harsh realization that I've come to learn recently is that yes, I am "that bad."  The intents of my heart are so wicked and I don't trust God in my relationships.  I want to take matters into my own hands.  My actions often show that I lack the belief that God is in control and that He is good no matter what the outcome of the situation is. 

Forgiving someone does not mean you allow them to trample over you or keep hurting you.  By no means.  There is righteous anger when justice is compromised and the Lord is being misrepresented.  Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry and do not sin..."  At times we will get angry, but what I choose to do in my anger reveals the depths of my heart.

This is where putting the Word into practice comes into play.  For instance, when my husband and I have disagreements we need to sort through, I have to make the choice: am I going to be bitter and secretly hold things against him until I can no longer hold it in then explode when something triggers my anger?  Or will I prayerfully consider his side of the story, pray for him in my anger, and choose a time when we can both discuss things calmly and maturely? Many times I embarrassingly choose the former, but I’m trying, in the Lord’s strength, to choose the right timing and to speak in the right tone whenever I bring up that which is bothering me.  

Resolving conflict requires humility on both ends.  Whether it’s your spouse, your child, your boss, a co-worker, a friend or a family member, we must, in humility, hear their side without thinking about how to counter their argument as they’re speaking.  It is difficult not to be defensive, but oh how freeing it is to affirm them and admit where I’ve been wrong and where I have failed. We always have room to grow, so there is always something we can change about ourselves.  That gives the other person a sense of trust and respect. Now when it comes to bringing up offenses to the other person, we must, as best we can, not attack them, but lovingly show them what has hurt us and how it made us feel.

Lastly, tone and timing.  You can say one thing and your tone and when you bring it up makes a HUGE difference in how the person receives it.  It could be said two different ways, but if I want the person on the receiving end to actually listen and make a change, I have to be willing to make the change first.  Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” If I come in hot and ready to fight, it’s pretty obvious where that argument will end up…with two very hurt and angry people who aim to get their point across at whatever cost.  How much more quickly can an argument be resolved when we come into a situation prayerfully and calmly, with genuine humility, willing to hear the other person out? May we basque in the truth of God’s Word and trust Him when He says, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:8-9).

KNOW

1. Read Ephesians 4:31-32.  Are there any areas in your life where you can be more tenderhearted, less angry, less bitter, more kind, or more forgiving?

2. Are you quick to give your side of an argument or are you willing to listen first then give a gentle response?  

DO

Is there someone you need to confront about something but have been hesitant to do so out of fear or bitterness?  Prayerfully bring up your concerns to the Lord and ask Him to give you the strength to humbly confront this person in love.  

How Do I Not Hold on to the Things of This World?

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:24 NKJ

LEARN

Growing up I loved playing the game Monopoly. The excitement of getting all that money at once and setting my own bank up made me feel rich. The game promised fame and fortune if the dice rolled right. There was also the chance that I could end up in jail while others passed by waving, losing the possibility of purchasing property like the Boardwalk, one of my favorites. I always wanted to be the banker who was in charge of all that money. It made me feel so important but mostly secure, and in full confession, as the game went on if I saw I was getting low in money I would just quickly & quietly take money from the bank! Running low on money was such a fearful thought for me and actually continued throughout my years growing up. It is sad how money can have a hold on us like that. Jesus shares a parable in Matthew 25:14-30 where three slaves were entrusted with their owners property while he went away. He gave the first slave 5 talents, the second 2 talents and the third one talent. The slaves with 5 and 2 talents went and invested them and doubled their talents, but the slave with only one talent went and buried it out of fear of losing it. That slave would have been me!

Another story I love in the Bible that talks about money is found in Matthew 17:24-27.  “When they had come to Capernaum, those who received the temple tax came to Peter and said, “Does your Teacher not pay the temple tax?” He said, “Yes.” And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated him, saying, “What do you think, Simon? From whom do the kings of the earth take customs or taxes, from their sons or from strangers?” Peter said to Him, “From strangers.” Jesus said to him, “Then the sons are free. Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for Me and you.” This story has many lessons but for me it reminds me of when I managed my Dad’s Land & Development Company for 10 years from the age of 20 to 30. I was fresh off the turnip truck when it came to running a business and handling his accounts. Deals were being made, property was being bought just like in monopoly. The end of each month would come around and I would have many bills to pay. More than not, the week before the end of the month I could see we didn’t have enough funds to cover all the bills. My Dad each month would tell me with such a calmness not to worry because the good Lord would cover it, and to my amazement He always did! I can picture Jesus in the same calmness telling Peter in the story above to just walk down to the water’s edge, throw a line in the water, pull the first fish out, open his mouth and get the coin out that was in there. Wow, now that really took some faith! Working for my Dad, in the beginning I would still worry about money but as the years passed I learned to have the faith my dad had and together we would take that coin out of the fishes mouth that the good Lord would send. After working for my Dad I married my husband Michael and he went a little further with my lesson on money and taught me when finances get tight the Lord knows who we are and what we need. I love how that truth sets me free!

KNOW

In the story with Jesus and Peter, Jesus could have easily just *POOF* had the money appear for Peter, but he didn't. So why didn’t Jesus just give Peter the money? Jesus anticipated Peter coming in and saw he was worried about where they were going to get the money. He was teaching Peter to trust Him through showing him that though he may not always see where it is possible for things to come together, if he has faith they always will. In Peter’s case the impossible was finding a coin in a fishes mouth. The same goes for us, when we doubt we are making a case for our limitations, but with God all things are possible. In Isaiah 33:6 we read “wisdom and knowledge will be the stability of your times, And the strength of salvation; The fear of the Lord is His treasure.” Do you hold tight to the things of this world so much where you are missing out on the blessings of trusting Jesus? Mammon is Aramaic and means the treasure a person trusts in like riches, money, possessions, or property that is opposed to God. I don’t know about you but this makes me want to examine what and who I am serving and putting my trust in!

DO

1. Count your blessing not your mammon.

2. Take time to share the Lord, your treasure, with those around you.

Is Money Really Evil?

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 

1 Timothy 6:10-12

LEARN

I have to be transparent here, after all, I am a Christian so I have to be honest with you, right? This biblical concept of money has taken me some time, sisters!!

My first real wake up call with money was 30 years ago when at 29 years old the man of my dreams asked me to marry him. This was all blissfully wonderful until just a few days later he added the pretense that all my credit card debts had to be paid off before we said “I do.” Perhaps he had missed a few details about me. The mall was my close friend and Macy’s, Fashion Bug, JC Penney’s and I were closely knit from head to toe. Literally! All the way from the banana clip for my big hair down to my leg warmers, it cost money to look as good as I did! But in the name of true love, I paid off my debts so I could begin my happily ever after. Through time and maturity, I have become the bookkeeper in my marriage- I refer to myself as the CFO of the family. He brings home the bacon and I spend it and stir it up in a pan. My knowledge of dealing with finances and aiming to please my Lord and Savior has grown immensely as I confide my weaknesses and need for Him.
I honor God’s word as all knowing and I try diligently to obey His instruction and warnings about the authority and stewardship of HIS money. I have learned so much about personal finance and God’s faithfulness through the years. I only need to seek Him first and, as He has promised, all these things shall be added unto thee (Matthew 6:33).

So is money really evil? Notice that in 1 Timothy the apostle Paul refers to “the LOVE of money” as being the root of all sorts of evil. It is important for us to realize that money can be for good but we must keep God at the forefront. God says to seek Him first in Matthew 6:33. The truth of the matter is that my pocketbook tells the truth of where my heart really is. Money can easily become idolatry. Things and greed can give way to being the idols of our hearts. The Bible also tells us that we can not serve two masters. Matthew 6: 24 reminds us that we will be devoted to one and despise the other. We can not serve both God and wealth. So the question becomes, am I rich in good works? Are we using the money that God has so richly blessed us with to bless others? Can we be trusted with the money that the the Good Father has entrusted us with? The Bible says that it is God who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. (I Timothy 6:17) 

KNOW

Whatever situation you may be in with your finances, let God teach you and allow Him to mature you. In our house, we use the expression “Fall Forward”. Meaning, if you’re going to fall, fall forward, learn from your past mistakes and don’t give up. God is good. If you ask Him, He will show you and teach you. (Psalm 32:8) Keep records, start a journal of your bills and your financial goals, write it down! Don’t let those credit cards own you! God never wanted us to be slaves to money! Galatians 5:1 teaches us that God wants us set free! He tells us to stand firm, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery!
Be Thankful. God will take care of everything when you learn to trust him. Trust him with your first fruits. Begin to tithe if you don’t already. See what miraculous things God will do with your 10%. Invest in God’s kingdom. After all, it all belongs to Him. 

DO

Stay positive and hopeful! There is nothing you can do that will ever make God love you less or love you more. Our God is so good. As Paul says in 1 Timothy 6:10 do not long for money. Oh sisters, long for HIM! Long for our Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who died and rose again to set us free and allow Him to demonstrate His power and His everlasting love for you.

Are Finances a Family Affair?

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:10

LEARN

To my single and married ladies, let’s have some real talk about money. It wasn’t until I was married that I realized the importance of having a budget. And before being married, even though I never spent beyond my means, I was not living in light of my future hopes of saving for a home, to adopt children, or to give to others with my excess. In my single years, my extra money was for me to enjoy how I wanted. I was single and loved not having anyone look over my finances other than myself. To my single friends perhaps you are there, and to my married friends perhaps you wish you were there. I know I do sometimes. But that view of looking at money is wrong. Money is always a family affair. Whether that family be your future family or your present family.

A budget is restrictive, but purposeful. I have grown so much in terms of being conscious with my mindset now that someone else also sees my spending and we together have goals for where we are trying to go. However, I am learning now as a wife all that I could have been doing as a single woman to be more intentional with my future goals. I now see that where my money went was sadly where the posture of my heart was at the time. My heart was selfish. Even in the times when I had very little money, it was not the amount of money that mattered, but the posture of my heart- A heart unto God that I was and still am called to devote to him. I used money to satisfy the void of being single, instead of using my money to prepare for what God was setting before me. Instead of using my money to glorify God and prepare for my future I used it for myself, and still struggle with that temptation. So how can we as women be more intentional with our money no matter what stage of life we are in? 

KNOW

1. UNDERSTAND WHOSE MONEY IT IS
   Growing up when my sister and I would fight over clothes my mom would always say “girls, whose clothes are those?”  And she would always tell us “you do not own your clothes, your clothes belong to God so be kind and generous and let your sister borrow your clothes.” You can imagine how well that went over in our teen years. But isn’t that still true today? Only as adults it just isn’t about sharing clothes anymore. Don’t we forget so easily that our money is not our own, it is God’s. God created us, gave us our giftings that enable us to make money, and God allows us to have the money we do because he governs all. So what are you doing with His money? 

2. HAVE A PLAN
   This is key! We all need to have a plan for what we are to use our money for in order to pay bills and not rack up debt unnecessarily. Then if God gives you excess we also need have a plan for the excess. God has a plan for our lives, and so by his example we also need to have a plan because without one we live unintentional days. It is not that we have to always stick to our plan because the Lord directs our steps, but we are to have purpose to our direction and our spending is not excluded. What plan do you have for the money God allowed you to earn? Are you stewarding that money well? 

3. CONFRONT YOUR SIN
   Money is the root of evil. It is no wonder so much of ur sin comes out in the way we spend. If we are bored, we spend. If we are unsatisfied, we spend. If we are insecure, we spend. If we are happy, we spend. Don’t get me wrong, we all have to pay for things, but recognize what you are paying for and why. Are you trying to fill a void? Are you uncontrolled? Christ is the only one who brings us ultimate fulfillment and he is the only one who can control our desire to sin. Pray to him that he would fill you and help you. 

DO

So what now? What can you do today to glorify God with your money? Pray over your finances. Or first you may need to pray over the posture of your heart. Do you desire to glorify God with your finances? Do you desire to be intentional with your day? Check in with yourself and ask God to reveal Himself to you and where your heart is in all of this!

How Do I Find Comfort When I am Hurting?

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

LEARN

Although we may never see ourselves fully healed from all our problems, because we live in a broken world, there are wonderful strategies and practical things we can be doing every day to renew our mind in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. The next time you are in a funk, you start spiraling, or you are desiring to be more hopeful in the midst of your circumstances try checking in with yourself by remembering the acronym PEACE.

-Pause. Eat. Acknowledge. Commune. Equip.-

1. PAUSE

   Before you allow your mind to drift too far into negative thoughts, take control of your reactions. Pause. Take a deep breath and lean away from catastrophizing and lean into truth. “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

2. EAT

   This one is self-explanatory yet often overlooked. Many times when our minds begin to spin, it is because we haven’t checked in with our bodies. Have you had water today? When was the last time you ate? What kinds of food have you been eating? Our physical health can wreak havoc on our minds, so before you allow your emotions to take over, be aware of what your body may be telling you. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

3. ACKNOWLEDGE

   After you have regrouped a bit, taken a pause, and nourished your body, then you can regroup and come back to your emotions from a more level place. As you begin acknowledging your feelings, be aware of your tendency to spiral and try to reflectively and evenly process where you are. Journaling can often be helpful because it causes you to slow down enough to process your thoughts and write down more concretely where you are at. “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

4. COMMUNE

   Once you have been able to identify or acknowledge where you are, don’t leave those burdens to your own devices, bring them to God. God is an active God, desiring to commune with us, help us, and guide us through the work of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone in your sufferings. God not only brings you Himself, but His church are His hands and feet and your Christian community is ready to support you. Often times we think placing all of our burdens on God means we can just drop all of our stuff and wait for Him to do something about it all. This is partially true, as God works in our lives and is in control, however we are called to be active participants in bringing Him glory through prayer, petition, repentance, and proclamation. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

5. EQUIP

   There may be many things you do not have any control over in your situation, but there are always things you can be doing that strengthen you and are God glorifying. How can you equip yourself in the midst of your sin and brokenness to still choose joy. What decisions can you make right now to improve your current circumstances? How are you equipping yourself to grow more into Christ’s likeness? “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up THE SHIELD OF FAITH with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:12-18

Is Our Health a Matter of the Mind?

Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

-2 Corinthians 10:5  NKJ

LEARN

Mental Health is such a vast subject and is hard to write in a short blog all the areas it covers. I had to begin by just looking up facts and studies that have been done on the brain and found our brain to be so fascinating! Google search shares this about our brains...

“Your brain has all the power connections, wiring, storage, memory and processing power you need to function as a human being. If your brain is the hardware, then your mind is the software. It's the operating system that gathers, stores and manages information, using the massive processing resources of your brain. The unconscious constantly communicates with the conscious mind via our subconscious, and is what provides us with the meaning to all our interactions with the world, as filtered through your beliefs and habits. It communicates through feelings, emotions, imagination, sensations, and dreams. Traditionally, scientists have tried to define the mind as the product of brain activity: The brain is the physical substance, and the mind is the conscious product of those firing neurons, according to the classic argument. But growing evidence shows that the mind goes far beyond the physical workings of your brain.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, also has research about mental health showing that “75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. It's an epidemic of toxic emotions. The average person has over 30,000 thoughts a day. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make ourselves sick! Research shows that fear, all on its own, triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones. There are INTELLECTUAL and MEDICAL reasons to FORGIVE! Toxic waste generated by toxic thoughts causes the following illnesses: diabetes, cancer, asthma, skin problems and allergies to name just a few.”

The Bible teaches in Proverbs 23:7 ...“As someone thinks within himself, so he is.” I don’t know about you but I think I need to do some housekeeping up stairs! So, how do we cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ?

KNOW

God wants us to be transformed to be like his Son Jesus.  Jesus’s mind was totally focused on the will of His Father.  It all begins with our thoughts. What we allow into our minds determines the reality we live in. We are created in the image of God, full of love and grace. Through Jesus we have the power to change our focus from ourselves onto the Father’s will. Our Father in Heaven tells us to “be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. Prayer and meditation on God’s word is key so He can transform our mind. This requires stillness and practice. We all know what we practice we get good at!

Do you daily take time to be still before God so you may know Him more or is your day and mind filled with worldly busyness? “When you think, you build thoughts, and these become physical substances in your brain.”  Dr Leaf

What do you allow your mind to be consumed with? Paul shares “Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Philippians 4:8

DO

Take an inventory of your daily thoughts using a journal.  Next to each thought listed - mark if this focuses on your will or God’s will by using YW for your will and GW for God’s will.

As you begin to be still and practice Phillipians 4:8 above, you will see more GW’s than YW’s and experience God transform your mind into a much more joy-filled spiritual life, walking in unison with our beautiful Lord!

How Can I be Fully Known and Fully Loved?

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37

LEARN

Oh sweet sisters!

The capture of our topic this month has been a little challenging for me. I have mulled over what I could say to you to lift your burdens even a little. I ache to have my words comfort you, like a welcomed (and often much more needed than we admit) embrace. As I started my writing process, I asked myself, if I had met any woman, who in her lifetime, had not experienced, anxiety, depression, trauma, or hasn’t struggled her way through coping methods. Thinking of the women I have mentored and the stories of those who have mentored me, my heart could only repeat, “we are not alone in this.” If I share anything with you, I feel that it must be this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

You. Are. NOT. Alone.

You are seen.

You are known.

You are loved.

The experiences making up your story are unique, intense, and they matter. You matter. This topic is big. I hope this month you are able to takeaway some pieces that are applicable to you. I pray you don’t step away from our time here feeling unseen or unheard. Desiring to meet each of you where you were at and not only speak to certain experiences, I decided to share with you a little of what I have done in my own journey that has helped me through.

KNOW

• The world labels everything. It’s an attempt to grasp even a fractioned control over the things, in this world, which are simply uncontrollable. We, however, are not defined by the things that have happened to us. Yes, they shape us, but ultimately we are defined and identified by the love of Christ. I grew up believing in Jesus, however, after my own traumas and anxieties I wanted to know if He could actually help me. I began to study who Jesus is and what He has done for me. I also started to study, who He says I am. Here are a couple examples.
  We are the daughters of God, adopted, given a home, and heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17, Galatians 4:6-7

  We are conquerors, overcomers, survivors. We are victorious because of Christ. Romans 8:37, 1 Cor. 3: 7-12,

• I spent much of my life struggling to understand why we even pray, if God knows everything. If He sees it all why do I have to tell him how I feel? David is one of the best examples of vulnerability with God. He empties his heart of the sorrow, anger, and confusion he feels surrounded by. Once he has said it all, he is able to remind himself of who God is (Psalm 88 & 89 are a great example). Practicing this in my own life has incredibly deepened my relationship with Jesus and is something I am SO grateful for!

• I have found a deep-rooted love for the Word of God these past couple years. I try to meditate on it (renew my mind- Romans 12:2) daily. There are lots of different ways! I listen to worship music or a podcast. Daily devotionals are awesome quick tidbits of truth that help you to put the focus back on Jesus. Sometimes I pick a book of the Bible to work my way through (can I get a holla for dat Romans!) verse by verse, or chapter by chapter. I ask the Holy Spirit to stir a hunger in my spirit for God’s truth.

• I surround myself with mentors who know Jesus. If I don’t have one in my life, I make it a main focus to get one. “HOW?!?” I used to ask this too! I pray for one, and simultaneously get vulnerable and straight up ask the people around me that I admire, to coffee or lunch. If they are women with kids, I make it available to meet at a park, so the kids can play while we talk, or even just offer to meet at their house. I try to make it more convenient for them, because we are all busy, but if they are put in my life by God, I know I need what they have. (P.S. Good news, you are on the Women Becoming Whole website and there are resources here for you! Christian counseling is another great mentorship!)

DO

No matter where you are in your journey through anxiety, trauma, or both, the best coping strategies I know are the ones I mentioned above. Sometimes our current situation and coping methods seem like they have so much control over us that beginning the journey to health, or continuing on, feels like too much to handle. So, if this is the case, pick a single one to start. Start small, focus your energy, and watch as Jesus’ grace restores. He is not expecting us to fix ourselves before we come to Him. Rather, He invites us into the journey with Him. We are not alone.

How Can You Practice Contentment?

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

LEARN

Seasons of life pass by like the wind. Let's look at what King Solomon also shares in Ecclesiastes 1:13-14. “And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.”

I find myself clinging to God more as life passes by with a big smile on my face. What a seat we have in the arena of life as a Christian. We go through many seasons of our lives from birth to death leaving a trail of memories good and not so good. For myself at 59 with the golden years to come each season seems to build upon the last where I notice myself waining and the Lord waxing, less of me, more of Him, trying not to lean on my own understanding, heading for that smooth stretch of highway as my husband Michael likes to say. Which season has been the hardest so far? It has always seemed to be the one I just finished!

KNOW

Jesus is always with us and our relationship with Him is constant! Developing our relationship with Jesus, not in a religious way but having a constant personal relationship, one on one communion with Him is key in all seasons of life. Do you have this relationship with Jesus in all seasons? Do you believe He is always there with you? Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV) teaches us: let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

DO

Practice being content and aware of your communion with the Great I AM !

Where is Jesus in The Midst of our Now?

Because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Hebrews 7:24-25

LEARN

Hello Beauties!

I am so excited to be back with you again. I love having the opportunity to feel as though, for a moment, I can sit with you and relate our stories to one another. This last couple months I had a lot of big changes in my life that have required me to step up and show up in ways I haven’t felt equipped to do. Many moments I felt so bogged down by the weight of it all and burnout knocked on my door like a girl scout during a diet. I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. However, I had, and still have this nagging feeling in my heart like in this season it is essential I keep showing up. I do my best to do this every day. Yet, in the midst of it, sometimes it is hard to pause and take a look around at where God is in the season and what He is actually doing. I so often take on too much. I add too many things to the ever-present list. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things perfectly, especially the things I have never done before. Before I know it, I am exhausted and left wondering where the purpose is in anything I am doing.

Have you ever felt like that, in a season of transition? Maybe you just moved or started a new job. Maybe you recently graduated and are now navigating the world around you and processing how the day to day looks very different than it did in school. Perhaps you just became a mom and are transitioning into this new and completely life altering stage. Or maybe those little ones, are now out on their own, and after spending so long raising and protecting them, you feel whole new sense of “what do I want to be when I grow up?”

I want you to know that Jesus is with you in every single stage. The Bible talks about how Jesus literally is our advocate and is continually praying for us (Hebrews 7:24-25). How amazing is that!? That our Jesus who sacrificed Himself for us now sits at the right hand of God, and knowing all that we think and feel and go through day to day, advocates and prays prayers specific to us! That right there takes a burden off my shoulders!

KNOW

I just want to take a moment and honor your story. Where you are in the timeline of your life. Where you have been. Where you feel called to go. Or maybe this season is confusing because for the first time there isn’t a big to do list and call to anywhere in specific. Rest in the fact that Jesus is your ever-present help (Psalm 46:1). He not only leads, but He comes to comfort. Rest in the fact that because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are free to come before the throne of God, to make our requests known to Him, to be vulnerable with Him.

In my current season, I am learning a whole bunch of new things. I feel stretched, spread thin, and like those growing pains you used to get as a kid in your legs (anyone with me) are now happening in my spirit. During my time with the Lord I have been picturing going before the throne of God, and literally curling up in the lap of the Father, or sitting at His feet resting my head on His knee while He strokes my hair, and reminds me of my identity in Him. I am His daughter, adopted, and co-heir with Christ. These times, even if it is a 30-second deep breath at work, fixing my eyes on God is keeping me going.

DO

I encourage you to start asking Jesus to show you where He is in the midst of your now. Take it a step further and think back on times and seasons of your life that have been very challenging or in some way have robbed you of your joy, and ask Jesus to show you where He was in those seasons too. Maybe He shows you a picture, or it becomes one of those Jesus moments where you just understand where He is (was).

It is okay to be vulnerable with God. An amazing encouragement is reading through the Psalms. David was SO good at vulnerably laying out his drama before the Lord. Once in that place where David felt free to express his worry, frustration, or fear to God, he was able to move into a place of praise and encouragement reminding himself of who God is, and where God was in his season.

Here are some passages that I have found really encouraging through my seasons. May these give you a starting place.

Psalms 88 and 89 read together. David literally goes from despair to praising the Lord and it is beautiful and so relatable.

Psalm 56: 3-4, Psalm 34:4-5, Psalm 46:1-3, Psalm 126

Will God Never Give Me More Than I Can Handle?

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.  

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

LEARN

We’ve all heard it and many of us have probably said it ourselves- “God will never give you more than you can handle.”  1 Corinthians 10:13 is a verse in the Bible that is often misquoted and many people use it as a Christian “catch phrase” to mean that God won’t ever give you anything more than you can bear.  I don’t know about you, but there have been plenty of times in my life where I’ve thrown my hands up and said, “God, I can’t do this!” The Scriptures are full of examples of people who cried out to God feeling like they were forsaken-Psalm 22 being a vivid example.  Psalm 88:1-3 says: “O Lord, God of my salvation; I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.” Jesus himself prayed, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death…My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:38-39).  

In this life, we are promised tribulation and sorrows, but we can also stand firm in the promise that God is our refuge (Ps. 16:1, 57:1, Prov. 30:5).  Saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” gives off the impression that God measures what He allows to come my way on the basis of my ability to endure it.  It focuses on self and not God.  My “handling” a difficult situation doesn’t depend on my own strength.  If that were the case, I would fail miserably every time because of my sinful heart.  It is purely God’s grace that provides a way for me to be able to endure life’s trials and unknown situations.  My being able to bear a situation doesn’t mean I will never feel like giving up or that I will never falter. But through the grace of God, He equips me and works in me to choose the right thought patterns and to make Godly decisions.  And when we face situations that are morally confusing or we are actually being tempted into sin, God always provides a way of escape, which is the context of 1 Cor. 10:13.  2 Cor. 9:8 says: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” Acts 2:13 says: “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

It is Christ alone, in us, who gives the strength to bear whatever it is we are facing.  Whether it’s embracing constant change in our lives, whether we are facing financial hardship, broken relationships, feeling completely overwhelmed by the demands placed before us, He is the one who withholds us and we are not independent of God’s mighty hand to help us do what we ought.  As John Pipers states: “God will never give his people trials in which he will not sustain them to bring them through to everlasting glory.”

Even now, my family and I are facing the transition of moving across the country in a few months where country life reigns supreme.  This city girl will have a lot to adapt to, but more importantly, I will be put in a position where I must rely on Christ to meet some pretty deep needs.  My husband will be deploying often and will be doing much training as is required for his particular job. Many people will often say to me after finding out that I am a Military wife, “I don’t know how you do it!  I could never do that.” I never thought I could “handle” this lifestyle either, but it is God who sustains me and my family. It is God who equips me to walk through this life as a Marine wife, to face so much uncertainty, too many unknowns, and countless times of patiently waiting through transition periods.  We are often away from family and close friends. We must learn to make new friends and adapt to the life and culture of wherever we’re stationed at the time. I fear for my husband’s life as he does rigorous field training and overseas deployments. But through it all I can’t help but think of the words of Psalm 74:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

KNOW

1. Are you experiencing a time of change or transition right now?  Do you feel like it’s too much to bear and you don’t know how you can face so many unknowns?  Lay it before the Lord in prayer and be reminded of His truth through His Word and the promises He has for you.  Remember His faithfulness and His ability to help you face those times of uncertainty.

2. How does 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 give you hope?

DO

1. Read 1 Corinthians 1:8-9.  Confess to the Lord about a situation where you have doubted His faithfulness and His ability to see you through.  

Can You Have Contentment In Whatever Season You are in?

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13

LEARN

Why do so many of us women struggle to be content with where God has us? We have a propensity towards dissatisfaction, complaining and jealousy. We don’t need to be taught how to complain but we must learn, through discipline, how to be content. Our discontentment usually stems from two main areas of sin: not believing and resting in God’s sovereignty and looking for ultimate satisfaction in things of this world. The Apostle Paul says, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” He was a prisoner, old and near the end of his life, and it was in these circumstances that he was able to rest in the secret of learned contentment that could only be achieved by an utmost dependance and trust in Christ.

Through the course of our lives, it is easy to dwell upon places of emptiness, on what is missing for us. For many of us, our experiences are broken and tainted by sin- the absent earthly father, the frustrated relationship with mother, the lackluster job, the unrealized dream, the perpetual illness, the barren womb, or the empty space in our bed. Because of our unmet expectations or the sufferings that we are going through, we want and want and want- and the things we desire seem out of our grasp. Then when we do obtain those wishes, we are on to wanting the next thing that we don’t have. Often times, we are too bitter, self-centered and “wanting” to recognize the merciful blessings that God lavishly bestows on us. Instead of having thankful hearts, we have complaining ones.

I have gone through this cycle of discontentment and wanting so many times in my life. For far longer than I had hoped, I was in a season of singleness. Relationship after relationship would fail and I would continue to dream and long for a husband (unsatisfied). When I was 28 years old, I married my husband Jacob. Five months into marriage, I got pregnant and then miscarried our baby. The loss was devastating and my already present desire for a baby grew so intense that I couldn’t even go on social media because of the pain in seeing pregnant mothers or new babies (unsatisfied). Six months later, I found out I was pregnant with my first born son, Caleb. A few months into his life when the nights were long and the days were lonely, I longed for the freedom and sleep that I used to have (unsatisfied). Do you see a pattern here? Even after God so graciously blessed me with such good gifts that I had wanted for so long, I still found places in my life where I was dissatisfied, where I wanted more. In realizing my cycle of discontentment, God began using his word to convict me of sin and reshape my thoughts.

First, I was not trusting in God’s sovereignty and goodness. I was not confident in him being in control instead of myself. A piece of me believed that God messed up with something. (That’s impossible for him to do, by the way). I had to learn to trust him by learning about him, taking him at his word, and relying on his ability to take care of me. If we are to learn to be more content, we have to learn to trust him more. The full measure of our time on earth, every single season that we enter into has been completely planned and orchestrated by an all-sovereign, all -knowing, and all-powerful God. He has planned every day of our lives before there was even one (Psalm 139:16). He knows our sin, our longings and our pain- even these were planned before the foundations of the world. And if we are in Christ, he is perfectly weaving every one of those details for our good and his glory- two things he will never falter in or compromise (Romans 8:28). If not for his relentless grace- we stand before him condemned, filthy and deserving of his wrath. But God, being rich in mercy stepped in to justify his children through the atoning work of his son, Jesus. He made us right with himself so that we could not only one day be with him forever, but so that we could grow each day in love and enjoyment of him. As we remember this, fixing our eyes on Christ and what He has so faithfully done for us, we rely on His power, not our own. This is how Paul faced all situations with contentment and how we can too.

Second, I was not finding my satisfaction in Him. I was looking elsewhere for true and full joy, thinking that the things of this world would ultimately satisfy me. Psalm 107:9 says that God “satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” In John 6:35 Jesus says, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” If we are God’s chosen ones, Jesus Christ is that “good thing” that the Lord promises to fill us with. We don’t have to run from one dream to the next with hopes of being filled. We have all of our fulfillment, our sustenance, our pleasure in Christ. Psalm 16:11 says, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” So how can we learn contentment with this truth in mind? We have to learn to be satisfied in him. We have to trust that He is good enough. And in believing that to be true, we need the self-control and discipline to live in light of that. What does that look like for you? Less Netflix? Talking with your friends about Christ instead of crushes? Being honest about our sin, confessing it and repenting? Reading more scripture instead of sleeping in? Clinging to him in constant prayer? Singing more songs of praise?

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

KNOW

1. How are you not content in the current season that you are in?

2. What circumstances has God placed you in to teach you to depend on him and trust him more?

3. How has God been faithful in your life, even in the midst of suffering or hardship?

DO

Make a Gospel List: Make a list of what Jesus has done for you. What did he do? What are the implications of this? How is your life changed through what he has done? This shouldn’t be a short list! Sing a song of praise and thanksgiving.

What do Christ and CrossFit Have in Common?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Romans 12:1

LEARN

As Romans 12:1 states, we are called to offer our bodies as a sacrifice to the Lord. I find this verse to be particularly helpful when it comes to the topic of exercise. This takes the pressure off of whether working out is good or bad and brings the focus back to where it needs to be. Are you working out as a sacrifice to God?

Because we are sinful, we are really good at twisting something good and God given into an idol. Fitness is one of those areas that can turn into an idol if we are not careful and honest about why we do it. For a long time I worked out purely because of how it would make me look. The only motivation I had was the prospect of changing my reflection and attaining the body that would finally make me desired and worthy. I would work extremely hard only to be disappointed at the end of the day when I still did not look like a Victoria Secret model and the same body that I loathed was staring back at me in the mirror.

I started CrossFit about two years ago and it was such an eye opening experience. There were no mirrors anywhere and all the girls were all different shapes and sizes. It is a completely performance based sport and it was so refreshing. The lack of mirrors made me realize how much time I was wasting picking apart my body instead of thanking God for giving me a strong, capable body that works and moves! I began taking my focus off myself and placing my focus on Christ for the first time in my fitness journey. As cheesy as it sounds, the trials of the extremely difficult workouts I was enduring were translating into my perseverance as a Christian outside of the gym.

As long as you are working out to glorify God, I strongly believe that engaging in physical fitness is wonderful for both your body and mind. We are called to be good stewards of our bodies and exercising regularly is one way that we can strive to be obedient in that area.

Just like there are bad reasons to work out, there are also bad reasons to forgo working out. Laziness or poor time management are often two reasons for people skipping the gym. There are, of course, seasons when we will not be able to work out as much as we would like to and that is okay. It is important to be honest with yourself about why you don’t work out and discern if that is a God glorifying decision or if it is a lack of self-discipline.

We are all in different places when it comes to our physical abilities. You don’t have to run a marathon tomorrow, but you can start taking care of your body today. Stay grounded in God’s word and honest with yourself about why you show up to the gym. If your motives are not pure, ask God to change your heart. He is so faithful.  

KNOW

1. If you could work out but your body would never change, would you still do it?

2. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about what motivates you to go to the gym?

3. When you opt out of the gym, what is the main reason?

DO

This week, journal about your exercise experiences. How did you feel while you were at the gym? Did you find yourself fixating on your own reflection? If you couldn’t make it to the gym, did you feel a sense of anxiety? Reflect on all of your emotions that come up surrounding your workouts or lack there of this week.

Is it Sinful to be Fit?

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

1 Timothy 4:8

LEARN

To be or not to be exercising is a question that comes up in my mind everyday. There is a long legacy of athletes in my family. My mother’s father was a football coach growing up and my grandmother taught swim lessons while also enjoying watching and playing many sports herself. Both my Mom and Dad grew up as athletes playing sports throughout their lives. My Dads love for sports continued into college where he played football for Tulsa University, and my mother also attended Tulsa and was a cheerleader. Now at age 85 they both are still very active! Being raised in a family of four girls my parents were good at keeping us busy growing up. Funny story - my Dad at bed time would have us do push ups and sit ups before jumping into bed. Looking back on my childhood I remember early morning swim team practices where many times I just wanted to sleep in, and also going skiing in snow blizzards while wondering why are we skiing in this? But through it all, it instilled in me an exercise discipline that I still have today, and gratefulness for the opportunities we were given to experience many types of sport activities.

I find this topic of exercise interesting to ponder on because we can see all around us how some people focus too much attention on their physical bodies and neglect their spiritual growth and godliness, while others focus too much on spirituality and neglect the physical temple that God has given them. I believe we can all agree that both these practices are not pleasing to God and out of balance. You know the saying... what would Jesus do? I began to think about that and wondered how Jesus exercised. Well...I think it was walking!

KNOW

The bible does clearly show us that we are both physical and spiritual beings and we are to take good care of our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) but also warns against vanity (1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4). We see above in 1 Timothy 4:8  that God does tell us that exercise is valuable, while also saying that godliness has value for all things! We all know what exercise is but what is godliness?  Bible.org shares “Godliness is a personal attitude toward God that results in actions that are pleasing to him. This personal attitude toward God is what we call devotion to God. The practice of godliness is an exercise or discipline that focuses upon God. God centered actions as well as attitude, living no longer to our own will and lust. In 2 Peter 1:5-8 we see a cascade of helpful supplements to practice along with our faith - virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection & love. For me self-control and steadfastness really jumps out.” When it comes to your physical and spiritual life what actions can you practice better that would be pleasing to God and give him glory?”

DO                                                                                                                         

If you find your balance tethering more on the spiritual side try what I call the Walkie Talkie exercise. Enjoy a walk and talk with a friend or with my best friend Jesus! If you find your balance tethering more on the exercise side try taking a time out with pulling up a chair and pouring yourself a tall glass of living water by  reading the bible! In either case practice listening to the still quiet Holy Spirit inside you that wants to guide you down a more joy-filled healthy path.

What does it Mean to Live Life for the Glory of God?

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

LEARN

If we are to do all things, even the seemingly insignificant things of eating and drinking for the glory of God what does that mean for our pursuit of a healthy lifestyle? It’s obvious that society emphasizes that we should be healthy and strong. It is also clear that God commands that our bodies be cared for well because they are His temple (1 Cor. 16:19). Though we see similarities in both societal and biblical directives for the care of our body, the motives behind them are world’s apart. Behind the voices of society, there are hearts, a group of people with motives that tells us why we should be desiring this kind of lifestyle. Our why behind everything that we do determines if we will bring God glory while doing it. Confronting our why is the beginning of understanding if we are worshipping God or ourselves.

In Jeremiah 17:9 the Lord calls our heart “desperately wicked”. One can assume then, that it is wise to examine the motives behind goals we make. Is the goal to workout or change our diet ultimately to look a certain way, to gain attention, to be attractive, to find our inner confidence? We may hear from time to time the health benefits of a strong body but what we will most likely see advertised in this world is the physical physique we can have by working out and sticking to a diet. Since we are flawed humans it is easy for our why to be for our own personal glory. Most of us are easily enticed by the vanity of “getting fit.” When the most common thoughts we have are how we want our body to look, it reveals that we want the glory of looking good more than the health of our body. The last thing we tend to think about is actually the most important part of us in need of health, our soul.

To workout for the glory of God means our heart or soul is in a posture of worship towards God. It is not worshiping the workout, the diet or how we look. Though we may be pleased with how we look, feel and what we accomplish, this has to be secondary to the joy we have through using what we’ve gained to serve God. A heart worshipping God may workout and recognize that this workout is possible because of what God has provided- it turns to thank and praise God. It uses self-discipline to meet goals and finds the strength to be disciplined by relying on God through prayer and faith. The strength gained through working out is a tool to further Gods kingdom. Working out allows us to experience more energy, and with that energy we can use it to read God’s word, be a healthy mom, wife, daughter, and most importantly a good steward of His temple. Being healthy and strong is a privilege and blessing that we can pursue as a means to make God look great. When this is our aim, our goals will reach beyond strong muscles, good blood pressure, feeling good and result in the health of a God glorifying soul. This kind of healthy pursuit is one that will count for eternity.

KNOW

To pursue working out, feeling good and looking good more than the pursuit of God reveals who we are really worshiping- ourselves or others. To glorify God while we do anything means putting that anything second and the glory of God first.

If you were to number God and working out in order what do you think you prioritize more?

Do you believe God is more important than your workouts?

DO

Plan your week effectively with intention to make God look great. Using the same commitment and self discipline you have for working out or eating well, use it also to read your bible at a set time for the majority of the week. If working out takes up most of your days and leaves time with God second, pray diligently. Each night before bed write a prayer in a journal. Pray over your heart, ask God to make you a good steward of your days that you may place him first before all things.

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Can We Love God and be Into Health & Fitness?

Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:10-11

LEARN

When we think of the Christian faith, most of our conversations revolve around how to love God well by growing in relationship with Him and serving others. You don’t usually hear conversations about exercising for the glory of God, and if it is brought up, it is often a divisive topic. Much like any divisive topic, we tend to position ourselves in one camp or another depending on what our preference is. In terms of health and wellness I think the two camps can be summed up as - the “health nuts” or the “not-so health nuts.” A general summary of both views can be summed up like this…

“The Christian Health Nuts Camp”

Main Scripture references:
“Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and STRENGTH.” (Luke 10:27)
”So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
”Your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Belief: Focusing on our health and wellness is a way we can honor God and be the best version of ourselves.
Frustrations About The Other View: Not-so health nuts are lazy, unmotivated, and undisciplined.
Potential Drawbacks: To overly focus on self and under-focus on God.

“The Christian Not-So Health Nuts Camp”

Main Scripture References:
”For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8
“For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:5-6)
Belief: Focusing on our spiritual life and relationship with God is the most important, and focusing too much on self detracts from that, especially since our bodies will be fully restored in heaven.
Frustrations About The Other View: Health nuts are vain and self-focused.
Potential Drawbacks: To neglect stewarding their bodies in the present time to glorify God.

So as you are reading this, being persuaded one way or another, or getting fired up again about your thoughts on the topic, I would ask you to to take a deep breath and think instead on this question. Can the issue about whether we should exercise as a Christian really be answered through agreeing with one camp or the other?

I believe the bible would say no. A healthy, biblical perspective seems to be the sum of both understandings where we are to cautiously examine our sinful tendencies to focus on self. Focusing on self can come in the form of idolizing your body, but it can also come in the form of neglecting your body for your own comfort or pleasure. The extremes of both views ultimately lead away from our main purpose as Christians, that purpose being to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

So with that purpose in mind, instead of trying to figure out where you stand on the issue, why not figure out what your motives are for wanting to exercise or not exercise. Our desire to glorify God should always shape our motives and actions. The best way you can do this is to ask yourself 5 things. These 5 things you should ask yourself not just when it comes to exercise but throughout your day as you are working towards being a purposeful Christian. If you can remember before anything you do in life, to pause and reflect on who, what, where, when, and why, you will be able to more fully understand and work towards thoughtful living on mission for God.

KNOW

1. Who? Ask yourself who am I doing this for, really? (Am I doing this for myself, for another person, or am I doing this for God.)

2. What? Ask yourself what am I doing this for? (Will this action draw me closer to God, or will this action draw me closer to getting my needs or desires met.)

3. Where? Ask yourself where you should be doing this? (Is this thing at this place going to be a place where I could fall into temptation with lust, laziness, binging, etc. and if so how can I have better accountability to not fall into temptation in order to glorify God)

4. When? Ask yourself when is an appropriate time to do this? (Am I prioritizing exercise, friends, t.v., jobs, etc. over my relationship with Christ? )

5. Why? Ask yourself why do I want to do it? Is it because I want glory, acceptance, fulfillment, connection, status, _______________ / or is it because I want to glorify God with my actions.

DO

Pray over your motivations to workout or not workout and ask God to forgive your for being selfish. Then re-read the main scripture passage from this blog and reflect on this week how you can be glorifying God more fully with your life.

Can Christians Have an Identity Crisis?

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.

Colossians 2:6-10

LEARN

When I was 26 I had what I thought was an identity crisis. I had broken up with my boyfriend of two years and I was lost. I idolized love in that relationship so much that all of who I was, I wrapped up in that relationship. It was when that relationship ended that I had an emotional breakdown because I felt like my whole identity was taken away. I had made my comfort and sense of security, my home, in something that was not secure. I was not rooted in Christ during that time, and that is why the crisis happened. Being a girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, and friend are all parts of our identities, and if those are taken away from us we should feel a sense of loss and sadness at times, but the loss I felt was so deep I was crushed. To answer the question about whether or not Christians can have an identity crisis- the answer to that question should be no, but if we are turning to things outside of God to give us identity, then yes. If God, the creator of the universe made us to glorify him and then we go and try to seek fulfillment through other identities outside of Him, we will feel as if we are in crisis when that identity is stripped from us. When we are rooted in Christ we do not have to worry about coming to a place in our lives where we will have some midlife crisis. It is only in the times like what happened with me when I chose to put my identity in something other than God, that the crisis happens.

So why did I allow this to happen? I thought that what was most important in my life was to be loved by my ex. I thought that giving into pleasure and temporary comfort was ultimately better then the comfort that comes from God. I chose to have my identity be rooted in something that could easily be uprooted. I chose the thing that was most convenient instead of the thing that was best. I was in a relationship that was not growing my faith and I still chose to put everything I had into it. I sinned in order to get my desires met, instead of leaning on God and His promises to sustain me.

I wanted to share my story with you as a reminder that choosing something over God will always end in heartache. We can only get lasting peace, and stability, and joy when we choose God. Anything else pales in comparison to putting our hope in God. So friends, even if the heartache isn’t there now and you feel happy and everything appears to be going well in your life, you will be disappointed if you have placed all of your security in something other than God. And for those of you who say I don’t need someone because I can do it all on my own- you can’t. Even you will let yourself down. You will not measure up to your expectations, and you will only be fulfilled when you realize you are a dependent being needing to find true identity in Christ. We should not be dependent on ourselves, our spouse, or our status, or our job, or our kids. We should be dependent on the one who created us. He created us to depend on him and to be complete in him. Paul Washer sums it up well. “Nothing in this world that is thrown at you ought to be able to take away your joy, and nothing this earth could ever promise you ought to be able to give you joy.”

KNOW

1. What thing or person do you find security in? What are you rooted in?

2. Who do you go to when you need comfort?

3. What are you hoping for in this life to give you joy? What thing do you think will finally give you lasting joy if you were able to get it?

DO

Pray to God over the thing or things you are putting your identity in, apart from Christ. Ask the Lord to forgive you for not trusting that he will satisfy you. Then be bold. Pray big prayers that God would give you the strength to make dramatic changes in order to rightly posture your life in adoration towards Him. Write down what you are choosing to commit to God today and what you are going to work towards taking away in order to do that.

Whose Kids Are We?

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

1 John 3:1-3 (NKJV)

LEARN

From the day we are born we start the journey of finding our identity. Even at a young age, adults like to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. Most kids look to who they admired most to imitate. For me as a young girl it started with wanting to be like my mother. Then as I grew I started wanting to be like other people who were a part of my life, like my older sisters, teachers, and coaches. Looking back it’s funny and sad at the same time how even growing up going to church I never thought to say I wanted to be like Jesus. The world made me feel as if I needed to be someone other than who God made me to be. Someone who others would admire because of my talents, accomplishments or job title. I was told if I went to college or would start my own business or get married and have a family I would finally be somebody. Perhaps this sounds familiar?

As time went on I did do all that - college, started several businesses, got married, had a family, but my soul still yearned for more. I wasn’t content.

My Days became months, months became years and before I knew it my children had grown up and moved out on their own, along with my husband and I selling our surfboard business. My identity of being a full-time mom and business partner was no longer needed and I began looking in the mirror asking myself, who am I now? I found myself desperately clinging to my raft as my identity sunk beneath the waves. Maybe you haven't gotten this far in life but you too find yourself looking in the mirror asking who am I ?

I began to look for my identity in the word and found it in 1 John 3:1.

“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of  God” There it was…. We are His kids!

So why do we still have a hard time believing our identity is only found in Christ? The remainder of this verse helps us understand why we have a hard time finding our identity in Him...“Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.”

From childhood we are dropped into this world looking for our identity in what the world has to offer us, but the worlds identity is not in Christ, because the world does not know Him. No wonder we find ourselves not feeling complete. 1 John 3:2 shows us “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be”. The truth is, with love, Jesus has bestowed on us our true identity as His kids and we don’t have to search for what we are to be here on earth. The Word tells us to believe our identity is in being a child of God. Now that I believe this I have stopped searching in this world and have contentment. I now know who I am in Jesus Christ and He is who makes me whole!

KNOW

1. Christ in us is who we are  “but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” 1 John 3:2
Has Jesus revealed himself to you? Do you believe He alone can give you contentment?

2. “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure” 1 John 3:3.  Our souls are purified through our faith by union with Christ and our obedience to His word. Is your hope in Him first and are you being obedient to His word?

DO

1. Take time asking the Lord to show you who you are in Him through His word. Meditate on those truths.

2. Then “(purify) your souls by your obedience to the truth”.  1 Peter 1:22

Continue to believe in what He has revealed to you and take time daily

to trust that you are and will only ever be fulfilled in Christ!