Is Waiting a Gift or a Curse?

Psalm 130:5 “I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope”

LEARN

I hate to wait. Wait in line. Wait for mail. Wait for a text back. As a society we are so accustomed to the “instant” whatever of what we want or perceive we need. Hello, instant pots! The slow cooker’s fast and simple cousin. However, as I have sat in several seasons of wait in my life I have realized two things. 

1. The season of wait is precious to the LORD and it can be a gift he gives us. I remember what seemed like long days of infertility as month after month the pregnancy tests came back negative for 3 years. Over 36 times feeling rejection from a simple little stick. The doctors didn’t have answers. The holistic professionals said relax. And as we hoped to one day be parents it seemed everyone around us was popping out kids and getting pregnant so quickly. Not easy for the girl who doesn’t like to wait! I had a sweet friend and mentor who calmly told me one day, “Just wait. Trust his timing.” While God’s timing has rarely ever been mine, His has always been the best timing. For all of the parents out there, you know having kids is not easy. While it was worth the wait, it is hard. God was teaching me things about him and myself before I had kids I could only learn and discover in the wait.

1. A place of wait can also be a gift to God. We often hear about worship and honoring God, but what about waiting on him? Patiently every day with our quiet trust telling ourselves and Him, “I trust you. I trust your plan. Your ways are not my ways and your plans are not my plans. Yet, I will trust your timing, not mine.” I love this verse in Psalm 130 that says “my whole being waits.” My mind finds rest because he is in control of the situation. My body finds comfort because he formed me in my mother’s womb. My spirit knows he had plans for me before the formation of the world. 

KNOW

Waiting for most will never be easy this side of heaven. Focusing on His word, worshiping and praying will bring comfort and “a peace that surpasses all understanding,” as Paul reminds us in Philippians. It is not an easy road, but worth it. Since hoping 8 years ago for a baby have I grown better and more patient in waiting? My husband would probably answer no! The waiting hasn’t gotten any easier, but it does get sweeter. Things don’t always work out like I hoped, but His nearness and what I can learn and where I have grown after a season of wait has me trusting Him even more. 

DO

• Has there been a waiting period that felt especially hard or long for you? Is there a verse or scripture passage or even a worship song that brought you comfort during that time? Share it with a friend or someone else in a similar situation. Having a community during a waiting period is so precious and helpful. 

• Can you recall a friend or even a person in the Bible you can point to that “waited well”? What did they do that stands out to you? How did they cope?

• If you are currently in a season of wait, hang in there! Pray a simple prayer “gifting” your wait to God. Tell Him you are grateful for this time and for Him to show you what you can learn or need to see while you wait. Ask him to draw near to you and He promises us He will! (James 4:8)

What Can We Learn From Anxiety?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29

LEARN

As a biblical counselor I find many women come for help with their anxiety in order to find a cure. This makes sense as the desire in counseling would be to work through issues in your life, and there are many practical tools that can help alleviate anxiety that should be utilized- however, there will always be a piece of our anxiety that may not have a cure this side of eternity. It is in this piece of the anxiety puzzle that I encourage women to view anxiety as something we see as a daily battle, and to not expect to perfectly rid ourselves of the worries of life.

Instead of focusing on getting over our anxiety (which often times leads to more anxiety) our focus should be on working in our anxiety. In this understanding, our hope is not focused on fixing our anxiety as our main goal, but fixing our eyes on Christ. When we do this even in the midst of anxiety we can learn what it is like to suffer well, and not be surprised if we can’t find a quick fix for our worries. So, instead of rising above our anxiety we can rise within our anxiety. We can have small victories, while recognizing our ultimate victory has already been accomplished in Christ.

In an attempt to rid ourselves of anxiety we forget that our anxiety is an opportunity to turn to God and recognize our shortcomings as humans. It is in the midst of anxiety that God promises us a hope and a future- one that is not dependent on our own abilities. So don’t lose heart. God is with you, he cares about you, he has not abandoned you, and he is desiring for you go to him with your worries.

KNOW

Anxiety is inevitable in our world because of the fall. We are in the midst of chaos, confusion, pain, suffering, sin, loss, sickness, and sorrow. In this life your anxieties may never fully go away, and you may feel overwhelmed or powerless to stop your anxiety but DON’T FORGET - GOD ISN’T OVERWHELMED. In fact he is the opposite. He is in control, caring, present, and available to you. Just because God hasn’t rid you of anxiety doesn’t mean he can’t, or that he is not with you, or that you have failed God as a Christ follower. So don’t lose sight that however you feel doesn’t take away from God’s power and the ultimate victory we have been promised (check out the book of Job for further studying on this). As you can see there is a lot we can learn about ourselves and God because of anxiety, but the biggest thing we can learn is to let go of our expectations of ourselves and lean more on God.

DO

One of the resources we have available to help you work through your fears is our book Gospel Activities for Women: Anxiety Edition. This book is a resource for women with practical exercises that deal with anxiety from a biblical and whole person approach. For other resources on anxiety you can also check out our RECOMMENDED RESOURCES tab! And lastly one of my favorite, short and sweet encouragements for anxiety is a resource from Bob Kelleman titled Anxiety: Anatomy & Cure.

What Do We Do With All of Our Concerns

“The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

LEARN

When I see this scripture I think not only who shall I fear but what shall I fear? 2020 has definitely brought it’s fair share of concerns. One of the difficult things to realize within our fallen world is that there are always going to be things we are concerned about. The Bible makes that pretty clear. Another thing it is clear about is what we do with our concerns and how we are called to not allow them to turn into worry. When a valid concern over something turns into worry we are falling into anxiety. We are no longer trusting that God is good and His plan is something we can have hope in no matter the circumstances. In the midst of genuine concerns this seems impossible, but apparently it is possible because that is exactly what God desires of us as He has let us know in His Word. The hard part is in figuring out how we are to go about not worrying. So here is the blunt answer. Devotion. We usually think not being anxious is an emotional problem, but it stems from lack of devotion. Are we devoted to believing the Bible over our own thoughts? Are we devoted towards making God our ultimate fear or our circumstances?

This obviously is a simplified answer to a multifaceted problem, but it should always be where we start!

KNOW

Instead of allowing worry to consume us let us be a light to the world by being devoted followers of Christ. Let us replace worry with thanksgiving, prayer, and hope not because we always feel like it but because we are told it is what is best for us. Let us continue to serve when necessary, and share the Gospel at all times from an understanding of our amazing Lord and His love for us.

DO

Here are some good questions to ask yourself to see if your valid concerns have turned into sinful worry..
1. Are you bringing God your concerns or trying to fix them on your own?
2. Are your thoughts more focused on the what if’s of the future over being present where God has you today?
3. Are you neglecting responsibilities because of your concern?

How do you Fight Your Fears With Faith?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and a sound mind. “

(2 Timothy 1:7)

LEARN

Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of the future. What we anticipate happening can overwhelm our minds. According to Webster’s dictionary the definition of fear is, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” Ultimately, fear is just an emotion. This emotion focuses on what we think might happen. I want to add to this definition. The Bible reminds us in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and a sound mind.” So if this is true as we have Christ’s Spirit living inside us, fear is also a lie from the enemy. 

KNOW 

Satan whispers lies to us and twists the truth. We focus our minds on what might happen and forget that we have a weapon to fight back. That weapon is concealed unless we wield its power. That power is our faith. Our faith is the confidence we have through Jesus Christ. It’s not just a matter of mustering up the nerve and saying “don’t be afraid,'' it's the reality of we are strong enough when life hits! Our confidence is in His Word and in Christ. This is the living power of the Bible.  Faith isn’t just head knowledge, but it is the action of the heart as well. We want to be a faith walker and not just a faith talker. We are known by our actions and not just our words Faith is a gift from God. It is not just based on our works and acts of love. It is given to us as a blessing! 

“By grace, you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)

DO 

These are six action steps that I have developed to walk in faith while fighting back against my fears. I have to live and breath these steps when facing doubt and uncertainty or when I sense the enemy trying to steal my joy and confidence. 

1. Put on Armor 

In Ephesians 6 we are reminded to, “put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” We need to be dressed and ready for battle. We need to not just have our confidence in the helmet of salvation, but also in the belt of truth. We want to walk around “fully dressed” and ready to fight back against any lies and schemes we may begin to believe. 

2. Renew your Mind 

“Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23)

The Bible promises us that the Spirit will renew (change) our thoughts and attitudes. Stop. Really contemplate that for a second. Your mind can be re-wired. That right there is amazing and life-giving! Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist who has done extensive work with head trauma patients describes neuroplasticity, and how the brain can change. It can be renewed with positive thoughts, memorizing scripture and studying the Word. She describes the process as little stems like small trees growing in our brains and coming to life that doctors can see in scans. On the flip side, negative thoughts and toxic emotions can cause parts of our brains to die. 

If we want to have our thoughts, attitudes, and minds transformed than it does take effort on our part. We need to spend quiet time with the Lord and memorize scripture to “guard our minds”. 

3. Bow in Prayer 

Prayer is one of, if not the main, disciplines of our Christian walk. This is the straight communication and intercession through Jesus to God the Father. In her book, Praying God’s Word, Beth Moore associates scripture and prayer as putting together two sticks of dynamite. One stick alone is pretty powerful, but the two sticks together, when we pray God’s words back to him from the Bible it is a force to be reckoned with! I urge you to try this for yourself. I have been astounded by the impact of praying God’s word, starting in the Psalms with a verse or two. David was so raw and vulnerable in these passages it is impactful and so meaningful to fight the battle of fear and anxiety. 

4. Stand and Share 

If we can share our burdens and fears with one another they can have less power over us. We are all built for community. By sharing and speaking out about where you are struggling or losing the fear battle it allows others to share their vulnerability as well. It takes courage but it also opens doors to allow God to restore and renew you through his followers. They can share your struggle, but also rejoice in your victories! Paul challenged us in Galatians, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2 NLT). Don’t buy into the lie of the enemy that others will judge or not want to help you and encourage. Some may judge, but that is probably based on their own insecurities and fears. So many others will want to lift you up in prayer and even have a word of scripture to share with you. 

5. Praise and Worship 

“Worship and worry cannot live in the same heart: they are mutually exclusive.” 

-Ruth Bell Graham 

So if worry and fears are the focus in our heart which springs to the mind continuously, it will push faith out! On the flip side, the exciting news is that if worship and praise are what is filling our heart and mind there is no room for worry to take root and lay hold of us. I love the story in 2 Chronicles 20 which tells of when the Israelite army was surrounded on all sides, their commander Jehosaphat sought God in prayer and God answered with a peculiar battle plan. He told them to put the choir (the worshippers) in front of the warriors. They headed into battle singing praises to God and it so confused all of the opposing armies they began to fight one another! In her book, Strong, Braved, Loved, Holley Gerth references this passage and says, “Praise is the sling and stones. The secret weapon. Stronger than our solutions. Mightier than our education and experience. More effective than a thousand bullets...to be a worshipper is to be a warrior.” I want to be a warrior! I will fight my battles and fear with a song in my heart and praise on my lips. 

6. Laugh out Loud 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the 

future.” (Proverbs 31:25) 

For our final action step, I included this verse that I would dare to dream could be my life verse. I hope by the end of my life my children could etch this scripture into my tombstone as the epitome and culmination of my life. Oh, the irony it would be and glory to God that the woman who suffered through anxiety and panic attacks, laughed at the end of her life without any fear of the future! Life is tough and we are told we will face trials of many kinds. Sometimes to lighten up the situation we just need a good belly laugh. It is therapeutic to look a friend in the eye and laugh until we cry. God has blessed us with so much in the hope of our eternity that sometimes to release the pressure valve on our circumstances we need to have a good laugh and let His delight in us wash over us and take hold of any fear we may be facing. 

I hope one or all of these action steps can help you fight your battle with fears! I hope you can find JOY where there was once FEAR and LAUGHTER where there may be WORRY. REMEMBER who walks with you and sees your fears. He doesn’t condemn your fear and worry but wants to carry it for you!

What Does a Holy Rest Look Like?

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” Genesis 2:2-3 (NIV)

LEARN

A few weeks ago, I told myself I wasn't allowed to go to bed until I checked everything off my to-do list. I came home from work that day and immediately set foot to complete the list. I threw some laundry in the wash and then pulled out the vacuum, getting excited as I anticipated answering the question, "What did you do today?" with how productive I had been. Not only would I receive praise and maybe a silent clapping emoji from anyone who heard about my beautifully completed to-do list, I would also feel much better about myself than I had the few days prior, right?

As I began the mundane pattern of pushing and pulling the vacuum across my hardwood floor, I started thinking about my motivations behind this to-do list. I also started thinking a lot about rest and my lack thereof. I realized that somewhere along the way, I learned to associate my productivity with my worthiness.

Growing up, I was a pretty proactive kid. I remember staying busy almost all the time, even if busy just meant playing with my neighborhood friends. When I got to high school, I became even more busy. I signed up for just about every extra-curricular possible, and then did my best to excel at each of them. I'm saying this simply to recognize the pattern I developed early on of finding my value in my productivity and activity. I don't recall my parents or peers ever explicitly telling me that the more I did and the better I did it, the more important I was. In fact, I can vividly recall the way everyone else around me balanced their productivity with rest. My dad was (and still is) an avid napper, my mom made sure to prioritize evening walks no matter how busy her day was, and my friends were great at napping, sleeping in, and binge-watching Netflix (three things that have never been a part of my regular skill set). Nonetheless, I carried my pattern of productivity into my college career.

My very last semester of college, I found myself more burnt out than ever before, clinging to the hope that once I graduated I would finally take time for myself, for true rest. I would say the first couple of months post-grad I succeeded at my goal of finding rest. Even then I looked at rest as a task to not just complete, but to excel in. Now, here I am almost one year post-grad and I am finally starting to learn the real importance of rest. This theme of rest has been all around me, almost begging me to acknowledge it in a new way. I've fallen in love with a very talented napper, my church has given multiple sermons on the beauty of rest, and I am haunted by the empty time and space that fills my life as I continue to grow into this new stage of life, requiring me to rest.

Recently one of the pastors at my church preached about the balance between work and rest, emphasizing the creation story and how God rested on the seventh day. My pastor said this shows us that rest is the "completion of the creative act." I can’t help but wonder if God did this on purpose to set an example for how we should live our own creative lives. After all, He's God, so He surely did not NEED rest, but He rested anyway. Like God did in this story, we must make rest an intentional and purposeful choice. 

Some of you are probably chuckling to yourself as you read this, thinking about how easy it is for you to rest, how you love taking naps or settling down with a glass of wine at the end of the day or going on a sunset bike ride with your kids. If that's you, I envy the beautiful, balanced life you have created for yourself and I seek your guidance as I work to create that for my own self as well. I do think I'm headed in that direction, but it's a journey I must continue to grapple with.

During one of my regular neighborhood walks, I came across a view just a few blocks from my home that I had never noticed before. I stood for quite a while at the top of a hill overlooking the airport and the bay filled with sail boats and lovely twinkly lights. I marveled at the way the sail boats looked as they sat perfectly still in the harbor with the sunset behind them. It appeared to me that the restful nature of the boats is what made the view so beautiful. The majority of the boats were simply docked in their place and if all of them were out sailing, the view would have looked much different. In fact, if the boats had been active, most of them probably would not have been in my sight at all. 

I became frustrated each time an airplane flew by, obstructing my view of the pleasantly still harbor. What if we are called to be more like the sail boats and less like the airplanes? What if God is looking out on us begging us to just be still? Maybe our rest is a part of the picture He has painted of creation, and if we don't take hold of a holy rest we will continue to fly right through the painting, never stopping to become a part of it as we were created to.

In case you were wondering, my to-do list remained only half completed that night a few weeks ago. I went to bed early and even left my laundry in the dryer. I know, crazy right?

KNOW

One of my favorite worship songs is written from the perspective of Jesus calling us to himself, to find rest in him and to anchor ourselves in his peace. I’m beginning to think that rest is simply the act of coming to a stillness in Christ. This can mean spending time in prayer and in the Word, but it can also mean allowing yourself to nap despite your lengthy to-do list, sharing a meal with your loved ones and not getting up to do the dishes right away, taking your dog on a run, and SO much more. What does resting in Christ look like to you?

My prayer for you and for me is that we each learn what it is that brings us closer to a holy rest and that we don't allow productivity to become the indication of our worthiness. I have a pretty good feeling that this holy rest will give us greater insight into our worth and value than anything else could.

DO

• Spend time reading the creation story and reflecting on God’s choice to REST on the seventh day.

• Listen to your favorite worship music and spend time praying for a holy rest.

How do I Fight the Battle I Have With Bulimia?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
(Romans 12:1-2)

LEARN

Let’s be real here: it’s hard to be a woman in today’s society. It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is telling you who or what you need to be - how to truly be a woman. “Real women have thighs”, “real women wear __ size pants”, “real women eat cheeseburgers”, “real women don’t weigh above ___ pounds” - the world seems to have a hundred different versions of what a “real woman” looks and acts like. And, if we’re still being real here, it’s absolutely crushing.

As a woman who struggles with being a perfectionist, and has spent her whole life in a world that’s constantly shouting instructions for so-called “perfection”, I’ve gotten to see the damage these expectations have done in my own life. In fact, I was impacted by them so heavily that for nearly four years I battled an eating disorder.

Now, before we start, I’d like to set the record straight : eating disorders are ugly; they’re soul-crushing and all-consuming, and unfortunately, so often they are also invisible. At least, that was the case for me. Because of the idea of what “real eating disorders” look like, nobody ever noticed that I was unhealthy - including myself - until I was already so deeply engulfed. I had an off-and-on relationship with Bulimia through many seasons of my life; at first it seemed so trivial, and later, just another one of my quirks. So what if I lost 15 pounds in a week, right? It wasn’t a big deal, I had bigger things to worry about. But this quirk, this “small issue”, just sat inside of me, growing stronger and stronger, until it saw an opening - then it took over completely.

Now, this all started before I was a follower of Christ. It wasn’t until nearly 3 years into having this disorder that I finally accepted that Jesus is Lord, and things finally started looking up. I can’t tell you that all of my problems were fixed as soon as I accepted Jesus into my life - it doesn’t quite work like that - but I can tell you that through Jesus, I was given a fighting chance to finally win this one battle. So, if you’re sitting at your computer screen and feeling that drop in your stomach, which is probably either a little too empty or a little too full, please keep reading - this is for you.

Your body does not belong to you. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Your body belongs to God, so why are you mistreating it? If you were to house-sit for a close friend, would you let all of their plants wither and die, or would you do your very best to keep them alive? Why aren’t you willing to steward your own body well in tribute to the Lord?

I know that right now, food rules your life, but it shouldn’t. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17). The kingdom of God is so much bigger than the calories you’re counting, the meals you’re eating or not eating, or the size of your body. Your Father loves you more than you can imagine, and He made you in His own image. This is a battle God never wanted for you to fight, but He will give you the strength to fight it, and eventually, come out victorious.

KNOW

• There is no one shape or size that glorifies the Lord.

• Your value comes only from the Lord.

• Do you believe that a perfect God made a mistake when he made your body?

• Do you see yourself through the eyes of the world, or through the eyes of Jesus?

• Does restricting or binging give you a sense of control over an aspect of your life?

• What do you see when you look in the mirror: a daughter of the King, or only flaws?

• What is the root of your distorted relationship with food?

• It’s not good to do things alone. Even God Himself lives in community within the Trinity.

DO

• If seeing yourself in the mirror causes you to tear apart your imperfections, cover it up.

• Remind yourself to have the mind of Christ.

• When you think something negative about yourself, ALWAYS combat that with truths from God.

• Pray before you eat. Ask God to calm your anxieties about eating, and to give you the strength to overcome these struggles.

• Confess your struggles to someone close to you, and ask them for help. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Ask this person to keep you accountable with healthy eating habits, and confess to them whenever you are struggling.

• Keep a journal of what food you eat each day for 1 week. After the week is over, go back and reflect on your journal, and ask yourself these questions

  • Are these patterns healthy and sustaining?

  • How did I physically feel on these days? How did I emotionally feel?

  • Was my eating directed by lies I’m believing, or was it directed by the desire to glorify God?

  • Am I stewarding my body well?

It might seem like things get worse before they get better, but if you’re willing to fight, I promise they WILL get better. Just keep on fighting, sister, and remember that the Lord is with you for every step.

How Do I Find Comfort When I am Hurting?

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

LEARN

Although we may never see ourselves fully healed from all our problems, because we live in a broken world, there are wonderful strategies and practical things we can be doing every day to renew our mind in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. The next time you are in a funk, you start spiraling, or you are desiring to be more hopeful in the midst of your circumstances try checking in with yourself by remembering the acronym PEACE.

-Pause. Eat. Acknowledge. Commune. Equip.-

1. PAUSE

   Before you allow your mind to drift too far into negative thoughts, take control of your reactions. Pause. Take a deep breath and lean away from catastrophizing and lean into truth. “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

2. EAT

   This one is self-explanatory yet often overlooked. Many times when our minds begin to spin, it is because we haven’t checked in with our bodies. Have you had water today? When was the last time you ate? What kinds of food have you been eating? Our physical health can wreak havoc on our minds, so before you allow your emotions to take over, be aware of what your body may be telling you. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

3. ACKNOWLEDGE

   After you have regrouped a bit, taken a pause, and nourished your body, then you can regroup and come back to your emotions from a more level place. As you begin acknowledging your feelings, be aware of your tendency to spiral and try to reflectively and evenly process where you are. Journaling can often be helpful because it causes you to slow down enough to process your thoughts and write down more concretely where you are at. “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

4. COMMUNE

   Once you have been able to identify or acknowledge where you are, don’t leave those burdens to your own devices, bring them to God. God is an active God, desiring to commune with us, help us, and guide us through the work of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone in your sufferings. God not only brings you Himself, but His church are His hands and feet and your Christian community is ready to support you. Often times we think placing all of our burdens on God means we can just drop all of our stuff and wait for Him to do something about it all. This is partially true, as God works in our lives and is in control, however we are called to be active participants in bringing Him glory through prayer, petition, repentance, and proclamation. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

5. EQUIP

   There may be many things you do not have any control over in your situation, but there are always things you can be doing that strengthen you and are God glorifying. How can you equip yourself in the midst of your sin and brokenness to still choose joy. What decisions can you make right now to improve your current circumstances? How are you equipping yourself to grow more into Christ’s likeness? “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up THE SHIELD OF FAITH with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:12-18

Is Our Health a Matter of the Mind?

Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

-2 Corinthians 10:5  NKJ

LEARN

Mental Health is such a vast subject and is hard to write in a short blog all the areas it covers. I had to begin by just looking up facts and studies that have been done on the brain and found our brain to be so fascinating! Google search shares this about our brains...

“Your brain has all the power connections, wiring, storage, memory and processing power you need to function as a human being. If your brain is the hardware, then your mind is the software. It's the operating system that gathers, stores and manages information, using the massive processing resources of your brain. The unconscious constantly communicates with the conscious mind via our subconscious, and is what provides us with the meaning to all our interactions with the world, as filtered through your beliefs and habits. It communicates through feelings, emotions, imagination, sensations, and dreams. Traditionally, scientists have tried to define the mind as the product of brain activity: The brain is the physical substance, and the mind is the conscious product of those firing neurons, according to the classic argument. But growing evidence shows that the mind goes far beyond the physical workings of your brain.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, also has research about mental health showing that “75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. It's an epidemic of toxic emotions. The average person has over 30,000 thoughts a day. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make ourselves sick! Research shows that fear, all on its own, triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones. There are INTELLECTUAL and MEDICAL reasons to FORGIVE! Toxic waste generated by toxic thoughts causes the following illnesses: diabetes, cancer, asthma, skin problems and allergies to name just a few.”

The Bible teaches in Proverbs 23:7 ...“As someone thinks within himself, so he is.” I don’t know about you but I think I need to do some housekeeping up stairs! So, how do we cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ?

KNOW

God wants us to be transformed to be like his Son Jesus.  Jesus’s mind was totally focused on the will of His Father.  It all begins with our thoughts. What we allow into our minds determines the reality we live in. We are created in the image of God, full of love and grace. Through Jesus we have the power to change our focus from ourselves onto the Father’s will. Our Father in Heaven tells us to “be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. Prayer and meditation on God’s word is key so He can transform our mind. This requires stillness and practice. We all know what we practice we get good at!

Do you daily take time to be still before God so you may know Him more or is your day and mind filled with worldly busyness? “When you think, you build thoughts, and these become physical substances in your brain.”  Dr Leaf

What do you allow your mind to be consumed with? Paul shares “Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Philippians 4:8

DO

Take an inventory of your daily thoughts using a journal.  Next to each thought listed - mark if this focuses on your will or God’s will by using YW for your will and GW for God’s will.

As you begin to be still and practice Phillipians 4:8 above, you will see more GW’s than YW’s and experience God transform your mind into a much more joy-filled spiritual life, walking in unison with our beautiful Lord!

How Can I be Fully Known and Fully Loved?

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37

LEARN

Oh sweet sisters!

The capture of our topic this month has been a little challenging for me. I have mulled over what I could say to you to lift your burdens even a little. I ache to have my words comfort you, like a welcomed (and often much more needed than we admit) embrace. As I started my writing process, I asked myself, if I had met any woman, who in her lifetime, had not experienced, anxiety, depression, trauma, or hasn’t struggled her way through coping methods. Thinking of the women I have mentored and the stories of those who have mentored me, my heart could only repeat, “we are not alone in this.” If I share anything with you, I feel that it must be this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

You. Are. NOT. Alone.

You are seen.

You are known.

You are loved.

The experiences making up your story are unique, intense, and they matter. You matter. This topic is big. I hope this month you are able to takeaway some pieces that are applicable to you. I pray you don’t step away from our time here feeling unseen or unheard. Desiring to meet each of you where you were at and not only speak to certain experiences, I decided to share with you a little of what I have done in my own journey that has helped me through.

KNOW

• The world labels everything. It’s an attempt to grasp even a fractioned control over the things, in this world, which are simply uncontrollable. We, however, are not defined by the things that have happened to us. Yes, they shape us, but ultimately we are defined and identified by the love of Christ. I grew up believing in Jesus, however, after my own traumas and anxieties I wanted to know if He could actually help me. I began to study who Jesus is and what He has done for me. I also started to study, who He says I am. Here are a couple examples.
  We are the daughters of God, adopted, given a home, and heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17, Galatians 4:6-7

  We are conquerors, overcomers, survivors. We are victorious because of Christ. Romans 8:37, 1 Cor. 3: 7-12,

• I spent much of my life struggling to understand why we even pray, if God knows everything. If He sees it all why do I have to tell him how I feel? David is one of the best examples of vulnerability with God. He empties his heart of the sorrow, anger, and confusion he feels surrounded by. Once he has said it all, he is able to remind himself of who God is (Psalm 88 & 89 are a great example). Practicing this in my own life has incredibly deepened my relationship with Jesus and is something I am SO grateful for!

• I have found a deep-rooted love for the Word of God these past couple years. I try to meditate on it (renew my mind- Romans 12:2) daily. There are lots of different ways! I listen to worship music or a podcast. Daily devotionals are awesome quick tidbits of truth that help you to put the focus back on Jesus. Sometimes I pick a book of the Bible to work my way through (can I get a holla for dat Romans!) verse by verse, or chapter by chapter. I ask the Holy Spirit to stir a hunger in my spirit for God’s truth.

• I surround myself with mentors who know Jesus. If I don’t have one in my life, I make it a main focus to get one. “HOW?!?” I used to ask this too! I pray for one, and simultaneously get vulnerable and straight up ask the people around me that I admire, to coffee or lunch. If they are women with kids, I make it available to meet at a park, so the kids can play while we talk, or even just offer to meet at their house. I try to make it more convenient for them, because we are all busy, but if they are put in my life by God, I know I need what they have. (P.S. Good news, you are on the Women Becoming Whole website and there are resources here for you! Christian counseling is another great mentorship!)

DO

No matter where you are in your journey through anxiety, trauma, or both, the best coping strategies I know are the ones I mentioned above. Sometimes our current situation and coping methods seem like they have so much control over us that beginning the journey to health, or continuing on, feels like too much to handle. So, if this is the case, pick a single one to start. Start small, focus your energy, and watch as Jesus’ grace restores. He is not expecting us to fix ourselves before we come to Him. Rather, He invites us into the journey with Him. We are not alone.

Can Christians Have an Identity Crisis?

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.

Colossians 2:6-10

LEARN

When I was 26 I had what I thought was an identity crisis. I had broken up with my boyfriend of two years and I was lost. I idolized love in that relationship so much that all of who I was, I wrapped up in that relationship. It was when that relationship ended that I had an emotional breakdown because I felt like my whole identity was taken away. I had made my comfort and sense of security, my home, in something that was not secure. I was not rooted in Christ during that time, and that is why the crisis happened. Being a girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, and friend are all parts of our identities, and if those are taken away from us we should feel a sense of loss and sadness at times, but the loss I felt was so deep I was crushed. To answer the question about whether or not Christians can have an identity crisis- the answer to that question should be no, but if we are turning to things outside of God to give us identity, then yes. If God, the creator of the universe made us to glorify him and then we go and try to seek fulfillment through other identities outside of Him, we will feel as if we are in crisis when that identity is stripped from us. When we are rooted in Christ we do not have to worry about coming to a place in our lives where we will have some midlife crisis. It is only in the times like what happened with me when I chose to put my identity in something other than God, that the crisis happens.

So why did I allow this to happen? I thought that what was most important in my life was to be loved by my ex. I thought that giving into pleasure and temporary comfort was ultimately better then the comfort that comes from God. I chose to have my identity be rooted in something that could easily be uprooted. I chose the thing that was most convenient instead of the thing that was best. I was in a relationship that was not growing my faith and I still chose to put everything I had into it. I sinned in order to get my desires met, instead of leaning on God and His promises to sustain me.

I wanted to share my story with you as a reminder that choosing something over God will always end in heartache. We can only get lasting peace, and stability, and joy when we choose God. Anything else pales in comparison to putting our hope in God. So friends, even if the heartache isn’t there now and you feel happy and everything appears to be going well in your life, you will be disappointed if you have placed all of your security in something other than God. And for those of you who say I don’t need someone because I can do it all on my own- you can’t. Even you will let yourself down. You will not measure up to your expectations, and you will only be fulfilled when you realize you are a dependent being needing to find true identity in Christ. We should not be dependent on ourselves, our spouse, or our status, or our job, or our kids. We should be dependent on the one who created us. He created us to depend on him and to be complete in him. Paul Washer sums it up well. “Nothing in this world that is thrown at you ought to be able to take away your joy, and nothing this earth could ever promise you ought to be able to give you joy.”

KNOW

1. What thing or person do you find security in? What are you rooted in?

2. Who do you go to when you need comfort?

3. What are you hoping for in this life to give you joy? What thing do you think will finally give you lasting joy if you were able to get it?

DO

Pray to God over the thing or things you are putting your identity in, apart from Christ. Ask the Lord to forgive you for not trusting that he will satisfy you. Then be bold. Pray big prayers that God would give you the strength to make dramatic changes in order to rightly posture your life in adoration towards Him. Write down what you are choosing to commit to God today and what you are going to work towards taking away in order to do that.

Gospel- Centered Mindfulness : Breathe In Truth

Printing Recommended