So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.
Colossians 2:6-10
LEARN
When I was 26 I had what I thought was an identity crisis. I had broken up with my boyfriend of two years and I was lost. I idolized love in that relationship so much that all of who I was, I wrapped up in that relationship. It was when that relationship ended that I had an emotional breakdown because I felt like my whole identity was taken away. I had made my comfort and sense of security, my home, in something that was not secure. I was not rooted in Christ during that time, and that is why the crisis happened. Being a girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, and friend are all parts of our identities, and if those are taken away from us we should feel a sense of loss and sadness at times, but the loss I felt was so deep I was crushed. To answer the question about whether or not Christians can have an identity crisis- the answer to that question should be no, but if we are turning to things outside of God to give us identity, then yes. If God, the creator of the universe made us to glorify him and then we go and try to seek fulfillment through other identities outside of Him, we will feel as if we are in crisis when that identity is stripped from us. When we are rooted in Christ we do not have to worry about coming to a place in our lives where we will have some midlife crisis. It is only in the times like what happened with me when I chose to put my identity in something other than God, that the crisis happens.
So why did I allow this to happen? I thought that what was most important in my life was to be loved by my ex. I thought that giving into pleasure and temporary comfort was ultimately better then the comfort that comes from God. I chose to have my identity be rooted in something that could easily be uprooted. I chose the thing that was most convenient instead of the thing that was best. I was in a relationship that was not growing my faith and I still chose to put everything I had into it. I sinned in order to get my desires met, instead of leaning on God and His promises to sustain me.
I wanted to share my story with you as a reminder that choosing something over God will always end in heartache. We can only get lasting peace, and stability, and joy when we choose God. Anything else pales in comparison to putting our hope in God. So friends, even if the heartache isn’t there now and you feel happy and everything appears to be going well in your life, you will be disappointed if you have placed all of your security in something other than God. And for those of you who say I don’t need someone because I can do it all on my own- you can’t. Even you will let yourself down. You will not measure up to your expectations, and you will only be fulfilled when you realize you are a dependent being needing to find true identity in Christ. We should not be dependent on ourselves, our spouse, or our status, or our job, or our kids. We should be dependent on the one who created us. He created us to depend on him and to be complete in him. Paul Washer sums it up well. “Nothing in this world that is thrown at you ought to be able to take away your joy, and nothing this earth could ever promise you ought to be able to give you joy.”
KNOW
What thing or person do you find security in? What are you rooted in?
Who do you go to when you need comfort?
What are you hoping for in this life to give you joy? What thing do you think will finally give you lasting joy if you were able to get it?
DO
Pray to God over the thing or things you are putting your identity in, apart from Christ. Ask the Lord to forgive you for not trusting that he will satisfy you. Then be bold. Pray big prayers that God would give you the strength to make dramatic changes in order to rightly posture your life in adoration towards Him. Write down what you are choosing to commit to God today and what you are going to work towards taking away in order to do that.
