What is The State of Our Hearts?

“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.”
Psalm 23 :2

LEARN

Rest. Who has time for that? There’s always some place to be, somewhere to go, something that needs to be accomplished and checked off the to do list. It’s not bad to have goals and the drive to accomplish, but do we get to the finish line with a heart that is jouful and fully present or one that we don’t even know the state of, or is mangled in the making? What that could look like, is random breakdowns, emotions all over the place, very out of touch with the original purpose God has for us, feeling like we’re not hearing from God, or simply getting sick. Chances are, we’ve all been there at any of those points. The truth is, it doesn’t happen overnight, and usually there are warning signals along the way, but if we are too busy to notice, it seems to happen abruptly. We can be so busy doing for God, that we forget to spend time letting Him heal, refresh and renew our hearts. Sometimes we don’t slow down because we’re nervous about what's really going on in our hearts and are anxious about dealing with what could be there, or feel like there’s just not time for it. Green pastures are nice, and still waters are great, but we often pass up the opportunities and invites from God to embrace those places as the better option. 

KNOW

Our hearts are like a snow globe, when we are so busy - it’s like shaking the snow globe, but instead of a sweet little snowfall to admire, it can be a nasty blizzard, and you can’t tell the actual content inside. We need rest and stillness to see what’s really going on - the good, the bad, to hear from God, and what needs to be healed. Snow globes are beautiful when all shook up, but there’s also a beauty of when the contents have settled, and you can fully see the setting that is inside.

Our hearts are also like cars, they need regular maintenance, not just to be taken care of when there’s a random breakdown. Everyone wants to go on road trips and get to where they need to go, but there’s not many of us who will raise our hand saying that we enjoy stopping to get gas, get oil changes, or take our car in to get something worked on. (Maybe some of us like getting a car wash though).

The Lord is our good shepherd, and we, just like sheep, do not always rest easily, needing our good shepherd to lead us into rest. He knows when we need rest, and that stillness is needed in that equation. Self care these days, equates to things like netflix or baking, which isn’t always what our hearts need for refreshment. It might take a load off, but our hearts need rebuilding that only true refreshment and revelation from the Lord can give, that makes lasting change. 

DO

Accept Invitation of Rest, Journal & Pray

One of the best ways to know what is really going on in our hearts, is to accept the invitation from God into stillness. To sit with Him, and observe what is going on in our hearts. Then journaling these things can be very beneficial. While writing, we discover the contents even more in our hearts, and can bring those things to  the Lord in prayer, and receive His truth and healing over it. Also inviting other sisters in Christ to join you in prayer is huge (Matthew 18:20)!

Be Aware of What’s Allowed in Your Heart

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

The people, music, messages that we are exposed to, go right into our heart and influence us. If we’re not filling our hearts with the word of God or truth, something else that will negatively affect us, and is going to take its place. 

Go by the Truth, not Feelings

John 14:1 says “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”

God doesn’t want to leave us hopeless in our mess if our hearts are troubled. He doesn’t want us to ignore a less than stellar state of our hearts either. A step in the right direction of a well-rested heart is believing that Jesus IS the son of God, and DOES want us to live in victory and empower us to move forward with healthy and joyful hearts. He went to the cross, not just for our salvation, but also that we might be healed in spirit, soul, and body.

How do you Fight Your Fears With Faith?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and a sound mind. “

(2 Timothy 1:7)

LEARN

Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of the future. What we anticipate happening can overwhelm our minds. According to Webster’s dictionary the definition of fear is, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” Ultimately, fear is just an emotion. This emotion focuses on what we think might happen. I want to add to this definition. The Bible reminds us in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and a sound mind.” So if this is true as we have Christ’s Spirit living inside us, fear is also a lie from the enemy. 

KNOW 

Satan whispers lies to us and twists the truth. We focus our minds on what might happen and forget that we have a weapon to fight back. That weapon is concealed unless we wield its power. That power is our faith. Our faith is the confidence we have through Jesus Christ. It’s not just a matter of mustering up the nerve and saying “don’t be afraid,'' it's the reality of we are strong enough when life hits! Our confidence is in His Word and in Christ. This is the living power of the Bible.  Faith isn’t just head knowledge, but it is the action of the heart as well. We want to be a faith walker and not just a faith talker. We are known by our actions and not just our words Faith is a gift from God. It is not just based on our works and acts of love. It is given to us as a blessing! 

“By grace, you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)

DO 

These are six action steps that I have developed to walk in faith while fighting back against my fears. I have to live and breath these steps when facing doubt and uncertainty or when I sense the enemy trying to steal my joy and confidence. 

1. Put on Armor 

In Ephesians 6 we are reminded to, “put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” We need to be dressed and ready for battle. We need to not just have our confidence in the helmet of salvation, but also in the belt of truth. We want to walk around “fully dressed” and ready to fight back against any lies and schemes we may begin to believe. 

2. Renew your Mind 

“Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23)

The Bible promises us that the Spirit will renew (change) our thoughts and attitudes. Stop. Really contemplate that for a second. Your mind can be re-wired. That right there is amazing and life-giving! Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist who has done extensive work with head trauma patients describes neuroplasticity, and how the brain can change. It can be renewed with positive thoughts, memorizing scripture and studying the Word. She describes the process as little stems like small trees growing in our brains and coming to life that doctors can see in scans. On the flip side, negative thoughts and toxic emotions can cause parts of our brains to die. 

If we want to have our thoughts, attitudes, and minds transformed than it does take effort on our part. We need to spend quiet time with the Lord and memorize scripture to “guard our minds”. 

3. Bow in Prayer 

Prayer is one of, if not the main, disciplines of our Christian walk. This is the straight communication and intercession through Jesus to God the Father. In her book, Praying God’s Word, Beth Moore associates scripture and prayer as putting together two sticks of dynamite. One stick alone is pretty powerful, but the two sticks together, when we pray God’s words back to him from the Bible it is a force to be reckoned with! I urge you to try this for yourself. I have been astounded by the impact of praying God’s word, starting in the Psalms with a verse or two. David was so raw and vulnerable in these passages it is impactful and so meaningful to fight the battle of fear and anxiety. 

4. Stand and Share 

If we can share our burdens and fears with one another they can have less power over us. We are all built for community. By sharing and speaking out about where you are struggling or losing the fear battle it allows others to share their vulnerability as well. It takes courage but it also opens doors to allow God to restore and renew you through his followers. They can share your struggle, but also rejoice in your victories! Paul challenged us in Galatians, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2 NLT). Don’t buy into the lie of the enemy that others will judge or not want to help you and encourage. Some may judge, but that is probably based on their own insecurities and fears. So many others will want to lift you up in prayer and even have a word of scripture to share with you. 

5. Praise and Worship 

“Worship and worry cannot live in the same heart: they are mutually exclusive.” 

-Ruth Bell Graham 

So if worry and fears are the focus in our heart which springs to the mind continuously, it will push faith out! On the flip side, the exciting news is that if worship and praise are what is filling our heart and mind there is no room for worry to take root and lay hold of us. I love the story in 2 Chronicles 20 which tells of when the Israelite army was surrounded on all sides, their commander Jehosaphat sought God in prayer and God answered with a peculiar battle plan. He told them to put the choir (the worshippers) in front of the warriors. They headed into battle singing praises to God and it so confused all of the opposing armies they began to fight one another! In her book, Strong, Braved, Loved, Holley Gerth references this passage and says, “Praise is the sling and stones. The secret weapon. Stronger than our solutions. Mightier than our education and experience. More effective than a thousand bullets...to be a worshipper is to be a warrior.” I want to be a warrior! I will fight my battles and fear with a song in my heart and praise on my lips. 

6. Laugh out Loud 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the 

future.” (Proverbs 31:25) 

For our final action step, I included this verse that I would dare to dream could be my life verse. I hope by the end of my life my children could etch this scripture into my tombstone as the epitome and culmination of my life. Oh, the irony it would be and glory to God that the woman who suffered through anxiety and panic attacks, laughed at the end of her life without any fear of the future! Life is tough and we are told we will face trials of many kinds. Sometimes to lighten up the situation we just need a good belly laugh. It is therapeutic to look a friend in the eye and laugh until we cry. God has blessed us with so much in the hope of our eternity that sometimes to release the pressure valve on our circumstances we need to have a good laugh and let His delight in us wash over us and take hold of any fear we may be facing. 

I hope one or all of these action steps can help you fight your battle with fears! I hope you can find JOY where there was once FEAR and LAUGHTER where there may be WORRY. REMEMBER who walks with you and sees your fears. He doesn’t condemn your fear and worry but wants to carry it for you!

What Does a Holy Rest Look Like?

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” Genesis 2:2-3 (NIV)

LEARN

A few weeks ago, I told myself I wasn't allowed to go to bed until I checked everything off my to-do list. I came home from work that day and immediately set foot to complete the list. I threw some laundry in the wash and then pulled out the vacuum, getting excited as I anticipated answering the question, "What did you do today?" with how productive I had been. Not only would I receive praise and maybe a silent clapping emoji from anyone who heard about my beautifully completed to-do list, I would also feel much better about myself than I had the few days prior, right?

As I began the mundane pattern of pushing and pulling the vacuum across my hardwood floor, I started thinking about my motivations behind this to-do list. I also started thinking a lot about rest and my lack thereof. I realized that somewhere along the way, I learned to associate my productivity with my worthiness.

Growing up, I was a pretty proactive kid. I remember staying busy almost all the time, even if busy just meant playing with my neighborhood friends. When I got to high school, I became even more busy. I signed up for just about every extra-curricular possible, and then did my best to excel at each of them. I'm saying this simply to recognize the pattern I developed early on of finding my value in my productivity and activity. I don't recall my parents or peers ever explicitly telling me that the more I did and the better I did it, the more important I was. In fact, I can vividly recall the way everyone else around me balanced their productivity with rest. My dad was (and still is) an avid napper, my mom made sure to prioritize evening walks no matter how busy her day was, and my friends were great at napping, sleeping in, and binge-watching Netflix (three things that have never been a part of my regular skill set). Nonetheless, I carried my pattern of productivity into my college career.

My very last semester of college, I found myself more burnt out than ever before, clinging to the hope that once I graduated I would finally take time for myself, for true rest. I would say the first couple of months post-grad I succeeded at my goal of finding rest. Even then I looked at rest as a task to not just complete, but to excel in. Now, here I am almost one year post-grad and I am finally starting to learn the real importance of rest. This theme of rest has been all around me, almost begging me to acknowledge it in a new way. I've fallen in love with a very talented napper, my church has given multiple sermons on the beauty of rest, and I am haunted by the empty time and space that fills my life as I continue to grow into this new stage of life, requiring me to rest.

Recently one of the pastors at my church preached about the balance between work and rest, emphasizing the creation story and how God rested on the seventh day. My pastor said this shows us that rest is the "completion of the creative act." I can’t help but wonder if God did this on purpose to set an example for how we should live our own creative lives. After all, He's God, so He surely did not NEED rest, but He rested anyway. Like God did in this story, we must make rest an intentional and purposeful choice. 

Some of you are probably chuckling to yourself as you read this, thinking about how easy it is for you to rest, how you love taking naps or settling down with a glass of wine at the end of the day or going on a sunset bike ride with your kids. If that's you, I envy the beautiful, balanced life you have created for yourself and I seek your guidance as I work to create that for my own self as well. I do think I'm headed in that direction, but it's a journey I must continue to grapple with.

During one of my regular neighborhood walks, I came across a view just a few blocks from my home that I had never noticed before. I stood for quite a while at the top of a hill overlooking the airport and the bay filled with sail boats and lovely twinkly lights. I marveled at the way the sail boats looked as they sat perfectly still in the harbor with the sunset behind them. It appeared to me that the restful nature of the boats is what made the view so beautiful. The majority of the boats were simply docked in their place and if all of them were out sailing, the view would have looked much different. In fact, if the boats had been active, most of them probably would not have been in my sight at all. 

I became frustrated each time an airplane flew by, obstructing my view of the pleasantly still harbor. What if we are called to be more like the sail boats and less like the airplanes? What if God is looking out on us begging us to just be still? Maybe our rest is a part of the picture He has painted of creation, and if we don't take hold of a holy rest we will continue to fly right through the painting, never stopping to become a part of it as we were created to.

In case you were wondering, my to-do list remained only half completed that night a few weeks ago. I went to bed early and even left my laundry in the dryer. I know, crazy right?

KNOW

One of my favorite worship songs is written from the perspective of Jesus calling us to himself, to find rest in him and to anchor ourselves in his peace. I’m beginning to think that rest is simply the act of coming to a stillness in Christ. This can mean spending time in prayer and in the Word, but it can also mean allowing yourself to nap despite your lengthy to-do list, sharing a meal with your loved ones and not getting up to do the dishes right away, taking your dog on a run, and SO much more. What does resting in Christ look like to you?

My prayer for you and for me is that we each learn what it is that brings us closer to a holy rest and that we don't allow productivity to become the indication of our worthiness. I have a pretty good feeling that this holy rest will give us greater insight into our worth and value than anything else could.

DO

• Spend time reading the creation story and reflecting on God’s choice to REST on the seventh day.

• Listen to your favorite worship music and spend time praying for a holy rest.

Do I have to be a Gentle and Quiet Woman?

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment [...] Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
(1 Peter 3:3-4)

LEARN

Before we dive in, let’s do an exercise. Close your eyes, and think of a lake. The lake is clear and glassy - there’s no strong wind or waves - it’s peaceful. Breathe in, breathe out. Allow yourself to experience the lake. Now, let’s get started.

I’m sure we’ve all heard of that passage in 1 Peter - the “gentle and quiet” one. It seems like this is one of those passages that can be easily misunderstood, and I think it’s important that we don’t let a broken view of Scripture skew our view of who God is. This is such a beautiful calling from the Lord for us as women. In this, we know that our beauty isn’t tied to anything but our spirit in the Lord. But what if “gentle and quiet” aren’t the first words that come up when describing your personality?

As Christian women, we desire to be closer to God, to follow his design for us, but sometimes it seems like His design just wasn’t made for our personalities. What about those women who are extroverted, life of the party, outspoken, and opinionated? Does the Bible mean that women should reject who they are, and to be silent, then? Does it mean that we can’t also be warriors? I don’t think that’s what the Bible calls us to at all. God made each of us as unique individuals. He made us into introverts and extroverts, fighters and lovers, quiet and loud. God made you an extrovert - why would He do that if He didn’t want you to be that way? If you’re not someone who easily fits into the box of “quiet”, don’t lose hope. You can still be beautiful in the Lord while being exactly who God created you to be.

So first, what does it mean to be gentle? It’s no mystery that we, as Christians, are called to be like Jesus. Jesus was the picture of perfection, and Scripture shows us that He taught with incredible gentleness. The way that we, as Christian women, can be gentle is to follow in the footsteps of Jesus - loving in our teaching and interactions, but firm in the truth. Jesus never sugar-coated His words to people - in fact, at one point, he advised sinners to actually cut off parts of their body if those parts caused them to sin; “And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:30). To be clear, Jesus doesn’t want us all to start amputating our limbs - bodies are truly gifts from God - he’s telling us that we should be willing to discard what we value most in order to gain godliness. This may seem incredibly direct, but Jesus is telling people this out of love, and gently reminding them that, as unimaginable as a life without a part of your body may seem, the consequences of sinning against God are terrible in comparison. We are called to tell the truth of the gospel, to help our brothers and sisters bear their burdens, to call each other out in love, and sometimes those things are hard. What we have to remember is that we must do these things to bring each other closer to God and away from sin - and that is both loving and gentle.

Now that we’ve discussed gentleness, let’s move on to quiet. Quiet has many different definitions. The definition we usually think of first is being nearly silent. However, I believe God gave us voices and opinions because He wanted us to use them. Another definition of quiet, which I believe Peter was trying to portray, is: the absence of noise or bustle; calm. So then what does this mean for us? Here’s another question: remember that lake from before? After all the busyness and the buzz of the day, after all the swimmers and the boats have gone home, the lake is calm. It doesn’t have any big waves or ripples in its waters. The lake is undisturbed, peaceful. Quiet. This is a picture of what our souls should be. When we’re rushing around, getting frazzled or frustrated, our lake is being torn up by waves - and nobody wants to be out on a boat in rough water. The way that we, as women who are loud, can be gentle and quiet, is to be willing to love and guide each other on our paths to the Lord, while maintaining our calm and quiet waters.

KNOW

• There’s nothing wrong with your extroverted personality.

• Being silent in the literal sense is not helpful to those around you. 

• You have a voice so that you can speak into other people’s lives.

• Some people may be quiet in their voice or their words, and some may be quiet in their souls - both are beautiful.

• Women may be called to submit to their husbands (key word being husbands, not men in general), but they’re also called to lead by example in their faith (1 Peter 3:1-2).

DO

• When you find yourself getting anxious, stressed out, frustrated, frazzled, or any variation, come back to the lake. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What does your lake look like right now?

  • How does that affect the people around you? Do they see you as a safe and peaceful place, or as a stormy force of nature?

• Pray that the Lord will give you a soul that cannot be shaken so easily by the world, and one that can remain calm even when faced with less than ideal conditions.

• Read 1 Peter 3 and reflect on what it really calls us, as women, to do. Apply this to the overarching truth about God’s mission for His people.

How do I Use my Breath to Calm Anxiety?

“The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”  Job 33:4

LEARN

Take a deep. Breathe out. Ahhhh. It’s easy to forget to breathe isn’t it? I mean, we are breathing right now, but we don’t think about it. When we take a moment of stillness to be with the Lord, simply becoming aware of our breath can help focus the mind on truth and relax the body. This is especially helpful when anxious thoughts tempt us to panic. 

KNOW

What type of breather are you?

Try this experiment. Sitting up or standing, place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Now take a deep breath in.

Did your abdomen go in or out?

If your abdomen went in on the inhale, you’re only filling the upper part of your lungs. If your belly relaxed and expanded on the inhale, you are breathing form the diaphragm. This means your lungs are expanding and drawing in more air, releasing more carbon dioxide with each breath. Notice a baby and how their bellies move up and down on each breath, they are filling up their lungs and are natural belly breathers.

DO

How to breathe deep

Sit in a chair or stand.

Place one hand on your abdomen just above your navel.

Place your other hand on your upper chest, just below your collar bone.

Inhale deeply through your nose and try to gently make the hand on your abdomen move. You want your belly to expand like a balloon with air.

Relax your abdomen. Your upper hand should move only slightly on the deepest part of the inhalation, gently filling the upper part of the lungs with air after the lower part of the lungs are filled.

Exhale gently through the nose. This is considered a complete deep diaphragmatic breath. 

Put into practice

When anxious fears come into your mind tempting to rob you of your joy and peace in Christ, here are a few simple steps you can take. 

Take a few moments to sit still before the Lord, handing over all your worries in prayer. 

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Use deep diaphragmatic breathing to help your body return to a place of rest 

5 seconds of inhale into your lower and upper lungs, 5 seconds exhale = 10 seconds
Do this three times through = 30 seconds 

As you breathe, meditate on Philippians 4:6-7

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

You can also do the following stretches while meditating on the corresponding scriptures

The Angel
“For He will give His angels charger over you to keep you safe in all of your ways.” Psalm 91:11

This stretches the spine and shoulder muscles, builds abdominal strength, and endurance.

The Reed
“A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench.” Isaiah 42:3

This stretch releases and opens the front of the body and strengthens the endocrine system. 

Don’t forget to breathe. 

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

What Would Jesus do First?

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35

LEARN

One year ago I was kicking off the first week of my very last semester of college. Today, I find myself about to start my second full-time, “big girl job” since graduating in December 2018. It took me almost that long to realize I am sitting in a big period of transition. While I absolutely recognize how common this transition period is especially for many people my age, I also believe it is not talked about enough. Sometimes it feels like we are just flung into this world with dreams and passions and hopes and no clue how to chase them. Unless we are set up with an explicit next step such as grad school or a very specific career path, the period right after graduating college can feel confusing and full of empty space. Don’t get me wrong, I am learning to find an abundance of peace in my newfound mind-space, but at the same time I am becoming more and more aware of how big and wide this in-between period of life really is. Big and wide is new, hopeful, and exciting, but it is also full of so many unknowns. This summer the unknowns were causing me to feel a little extra homesick and a little extra teary-eyed (although I am hesitant to admit it). However, these unknowns kept leading me back to Jesus so they also left me feeling a little extra loved and little extra hopeful.

What could quite possibly be the shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35 - ”Jesus wept.” Something drew me back to this verse and I was reminded of a reflection I wrote during my last semester of college which I ended up keeping to myself. I think it’s actually worth sharing, especially for anyone out there who might be feeling unsure as to where Jesus stands in the midst of your own feelings of confusion, transition, loneliness, or anything really. In order to understand the significance of this short verse, let me first give you a tiny bit of context. John chapter 11 narrates the death of a man named Lazarus and ends with Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. In the middle of the chapter, Jesus comforts Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, during their period of grief. Right before this verse, Mary and Martha had come to Jesus in sorrow, telling him that their brother would not have died if Jesus had been present. They brought Jesus to the place where Lazarus lay dead and “When Jesus saw [Mary] weeping… he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:34). Then, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

When I first became a Christian about four years ago, I expected quick answers, advice, and direction from Jesus whenever I asked for it (okay let’s be real, I still have this expectation a little more often than I probably should). However, I think this verse demonstrates an even more loving way that Jesus responds to us when we confide in him. While giving immediate advice can definitely be a blessing, what I’m learning we need first and foremost is simply someone to sit with us, listen to us, walk through our situations with us, and seek to truly understand and empathize (not just sympathize!) with our emotions. This is exactly what Jesus does in John 11:35, therefore validating Mary and Martha’s emotions amidst their circumstance at hand. He allows himself to feel the pain that Mary and Martha are feeling and takes a moment to sit in that pain with them. I am reminded through this story just how much Jesus aligns his heart with ours as an act of showing his love for us (in verse 36, the Jews correspond Jesus’ weeping with his love for Lazarus).

What strikes me most about this chapter is the order in which Jesus does things. Before he ever raises Lazarus from the dead, he FIRST weeps with Mary and Martha. His first action is to come alongside us, his presence becoming a reflection of his love for us, and THEN he takes further action. I read a devotional months ago that emphasized our role as human beings rather than human doings. Essentially, we have a role to BE with God and with others before we have a role to DO anything or take any other action. Jesus makes this so easy for us because he promises to always be near, never far.

I think it is also important to note that Jesus isn’t weeping over Lazarus’ death the way Mary and Martha are. While Mary and Martha are weeping because they assume the finality of their brother’s death, Jesus weeps solely because his heart aligns with theirs. His tears do not minimize his confidence in the plan that is to come (raising Lazarus back to life). I love that he allows himself to sit and weep with these women simply because he cares for them. The feelings we experience matter to him. Today, nine months out of college, I feel incredibly grateful that Jesus understands my heart. I am confident he is walking with me through the period of transition I find myself in. I pray for a steadfast trust for myself and each of you in knowing that his plan supersedes all of our confusions or uncertainties.

KNOW

Do you believe that Jesus desires to weep alongside you? Do you allow him to do so? Do you remember a time when you found yourself in a season of uncertainty and unknowns? Maybe that season for you is right now. How did you and/or how can you learn to let Jesus and let others in to the unknown with you?

Please know that whether today is your first day of high school, last day of college, or just your ten thousandth day at the same job you’ve had for thirty years, you are never alone, never invisible, and always, always loved.

DO

Read the entire story about Jesus comforting the sisters of Lazarus in John 11:17-37. Spend some time in prayer, allowing Jesus to feel your joys, sorrows, and confusion alongside you.

Is Jesus Better than a Beach Body?

I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.
John 6:35-40

LEARN

Over the past year I have been seeing more and more Christian health coaches on social media talking about how getting fit has literally changed their lives. That they now have purpose and identity and they are living into their full potential for Christ. I don’t doubt they mean well when they share things like this, but what they are claiming is far from Biblical truth and this is why.

The slogan for a popular fitness company that uses health coaches to promote their products and live out their vision has a very worrisome motto. Their motto is “to help people achieve their goals to lead healthy, fulfilling lives.” Now, I am all on board for what they do in helping people lead healthy lives and achieve their health goals, but I do not agree they are helping people lead fulfilling lives. We know that Biblically the only fulfilling life is one that is focused on Jesus as the source of our identity, not fitness. It is not fitness that will fulfill you, but Jesus.

THE LIE THEY ARE SPREADING:
A healthy & fit body gives you fulfillment and identity.

THE BIBLICAL TRUTH WE SHOULD BE SPREADING:
A healthy and fit body can be a means to glorify God, but fulfillment and identity is found in Christ.

We must be watchful of the things we allow to seep into our thoughts that aren’t Biblical. Even if they are well-intended. I have no doubt the women posting about their fitness makeovers are more confident in their bodies, but confidence and happiness are not the same as having joy and ultimate fulfillment. Their confidence is only as deep as their bodies are fit, and their happiness I assure you will waver if it is not grounded in the joy of the Lord.

Just the other day I watched a documentary on Netflix about a man who did a bunch of triathlons in one year, but was left unsatisfied so he decided to do 50 triathlons in 50 days in 50 states, and run to raise money for a charity. Wow! It really is quite the human accomplishment to attempt something like that and do it for a good cause. But what stuck out to me even more than his drive was the WHY behind his motivation and the sacrifices he took in order to do so. He was not a Christian, and the documentary wasn’t focusing on the spiritual implications of his WHY but it made me realize how lost people are when they buy into lies. As Christians we are called to sacrifice our lives for God, and in Him we find fulfillment, but here in this documentary I was literally watching someone almost kill themselves because they felt it would give them purpose. He seemed to believe that this accomplishment would fill the void of “not enough” when he completed it. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the documentary for you, but I am curious if he did finish what he set out to do that he now feels satisfied, that ultimately all the pain and putting his family second over this goal he had was worth it. I saw dedication yes, but at the cost of sacrificing his responsibilities as a father, husband, and even to his own body for what gain? For what consequences in the future? For what existential purpose? Watching that documentary made me more aware of the importance we have as Christians to share the Gospel. To give people hope and purpose that is more than just our measure of fitness. That people can have what they are looking for - lasting fulfillment, contentment, and any sense of identity that is worth identifying with if they turn to Christ.

I also want to say this to you who may also feel this way. You don’t need triathlons, or a perfect body, or perfect health to fulfill you, you need Jesus. So go run the marathon, go workout at the gym, go eat healthy, these are all good things to do for fun, or for health, or to be a good steward of your body, but don’t do those things in hopes of finding fulfillment; In hopes of having that craving of “more” finally be satisfied, because it won’t. That craving will only be stopped when your hunger and thirst is met through the bread of Life, Jesus Christ!

KNOW

Do you believe that Jesus is better than anything else? This song below is one of my favorite songs and is such an important and powerful song to sing that we need to not only declare but pray that our hearts believe that Jesus truly is better!

Jesus is Better
by Austin Stone Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTewCIvR7Og

In all my sorrows, Jesus is better
make my heart believe
In all my victories, Jesus is better
make my heart believe
Than any comfort, Jesus is better
make my heart believe
More than all riches, Jesus is better
make my heart believe
Our souls declaring, Jesus is better
make my heart believe
Our song eternal, Jesus is better - make my heart believe

DO

-Read the word and meditate on scriptures about your identity and the fulfillment that is found in Christ.

-Pray that God will reveal himself to you and give you peace in your soul

-Find a Christian mentor who can help you, one that understands it is Jesus that ultimately fulfills us. (If you are in need of a Christian Health mentor reach out to us at womenbecomingwhole@gmail.com and we will match you with one!)

How do I Fight the Battle I Have With Bulimia?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
(Romans 12:1-2)

LEARN

Let’s be real here: it’s hard to be a woman in today’s society. It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is telling you who or what you need to be - how to truly be a woman. “Real women have thighs”, “real women wear __ size pants”, “real women eat cheeseburgers”, “real women don’t weigh above ___ pounds” - the world seems to have a hundred different versions of what a “real woman” looks and acts like. And, if we’re still being real here, it’s absolutely crushing.

As a woman who struggles with being a perfectionist, and has spent her whole life in a world that’s constantly shouting instructions for so-called “perfection”, I’ve gotten to see the damage these expectations have done in my own life. In fact, I was impacted by them so heavily that for nearly four years I battled an eating disorder.

Now, before we start, I’d like to set the record straight : eating disorders are ugly; they’re soul-crushing and all-consuming, and unfortunately, so often they are also invisible. At least, that was the case for me. Because of the idea of what “real eating disorders” look like, nobody ever noticed that I was unhealthy - including myself - until I was already so deeply engulfed. I had an off-and-on relationship with Bulimia through many seasons of my life; at first it seemed so trivial, and later, just another one of my quirks. So what if I lost 15 pounds in a week, right? It wasn’t a big deal, I had bigger things to worry about. But this quirk, this “small issue”, just sat inside of me, growing stronger and stronger, until it saw an opening - then it took over completely.

Now, this all started before I was a follower of Christ. It wasn’t until nearly 3 years into having this disorder that I finally accepted that Jesus is Lord, and things finally started looking up. I can’t tell you that all of my problems were fixed as soon as I accepted Jesus into my life - it doesn’t quite work like that - but I can tell you that through Jesus, I was given a fighting chance to finally win this one battle. So, if you’re sitting at your computer screen and feeling that drop in your stomach, which is probably either a little too empty or a little too full, please keep reading - this is for you.

Your body does not belong to you. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Your body belongs to God, so why are you mistreating it? If you were to house-sit for a close friend, would you let all of their plants wither and die, or would you do your very best to keep them alive? Why aren’t you willing to steward your own body well in tribute to the Lord?

I know that right now, food rules your life, but it shouldn’t. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17). The kingdom of God is so much bigger than the calories you’re counting, the meals you’re eating or not eating, or the size of your body. Your Father loves you more than you can imagine, and He made you in His own image. This is a battle God never wanted for you to fight, but He will give you the strength to fight it, and eventually, come out victorious.

KNOW

• There is no one shape or size that glorifies the Lord.

• Your value comes only from the Lord.

• Do you believe that a perfect God made a mistake when he made your body?

• Do you see yourself through the eyes of the world, or through the eyes of Jesus?

• Does restricting or binging give you a sense of control over an aspect of your life?

• What do you see when you look in the mirror: a daughter of the King, or only flaws?

• What is the root of your distorted relationship with food?

• It’s not good to do things alone. Even God Himself lives in community within the Trinity.

DO

• If seeing yourself in the mirror causes you to tear apart your imperfections, cover it up.

• Remind yourself to have the mind of Christ.

• When you think something negative about yourself, ALWAYS combat that with truths from God.

• Pray before you eat. Ask God to calm your anxieties about eating, and to give you the strength to overcome these struggles.

• Confess your struggles to someone close to you, and ask them for help. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Ask this person to keep you accountable with healthy eating habits, and confess to them whenever you are struggling.

• Keep a journal of what food you eat each day for 1 week. After the week is over, go back and reflect on your journal, and ask yourself these questions

  • Are these patterns healthy and sustaining?

  • How did I physically feel on these days? How did I emotionally feel?

  • Was my eating directed by lies I’m believing, or was it directed by the desire to glorify God?

  • Am I stewarding my body well?

It might seem like things get worse before they get better, but if you’re willing to fight, I promise they WILL get better. Just keep on fighting, sister, and remember that the Lord is with you for every step.

What Does it Mean to be a Woman of God?

Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts crying, “Abba! Father!” so you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Galatians 4:5-7

LEARN

Here we find ourselves again, back into the pages of the Word, searching out identities. What does it mean to be a woman of God? Does it change when you go from single to married, or have a child? Or does our identity in Christ go deeper than fathomable, trickling its way into every other aspect of our lives, no matter the stage? I believe, the core of your identity lies deeper than woman, sister, mother, single, or married. Sweet Sister, you are daughter.

Galatians 4:5-7 and so many more New Testament scriptures, talk about our identity as the children of God. I love this passage in Galatians though, because it shows us the beginning glimpse of what it means to be daughter. I almost inserted [daughter] everywhere it said “son” to drive a deeper meaning, but think about this. The people Paul was talking to still lived in a patriarchal system of inheritance. The eldest son would receive the greatest portion of the father’s land, money, livestock, etc. When this verse talks about our adoption as sons, it is talking about us becoming the heir (by rights of adoption) of everything that God has to give. EVERYTHING! The coolest part is we get to tap into that right now! We are not waiting on certain stipulations, to be able to tap into our trust fund. We have our inheritance at our finger tips.

Now hand in hand with our daughterhood, is a deeper understanding of Fatherhood. They come together. I don’t believe you can really dive into learning one, without receiving new revelation on the other. To the extent that you believe God is a good and loving father, is the extent you will believe his goodness and his adoption of you as his daughter. Our Father is good. God is good. He WANTS to bless you with the best He has. When He has an Arabian race horse, He isn’t going to just hand you a Lisa Frank color by number from the 90’s. I think where we get confused on his goodness, is that he might start you out with riding lessons, on the 15 year-old, super gentle horse (before the race horse is even born) then give you racing lessons (while he trains the race horse), then when it’s time here comes the beautiful race horse (at the time when you know how to race, and the horse has been trained). This is a big picture in a small space, so here’s what I want you to know.

KNOW

1. You were chosen before the foundation of the world. You were predestined to be a daughter of

God (Ephesians 1:5). In other words, God very much thinks you matter.

2. Once you accept Jesus into your heart and receive Salvation, God becomes your adoptive father.

3. God is a good God.

4. God is the best father.

5. God WANTS to bless you with the best things.

6. You are a daughter of the most high God. He is ruler of the kingdom of heaven. You have access

to what he has in heaven (think the Lord’s prayer- on earth as it is in heaven).

7. No matter what stage of life you are in, meditate on this, and watch it change your perspective

for the best.

DO

Here are some more of the verses that talk about our sonship:

John 1:12, Romans 8:14-19, Romans 9:8, Galatians 3:26, Ephesians 1:5, Ephesians 2:9, Ephesians 3:6,

1 John 3:1, 1 John 3:2

Psalms 27:10

The list goes on and on, but I hope this stirs up a hunger for you to seek out God as our father, and what

it means to be his daughter.

Much love,

Anna

How to Handle Different Types of Conflict?

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any
affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:1-5

LEARN

We need you. You, with the fiery spirit and an appetite for debate. You, who loves the challenge ahead and wants the world to watch you stand your ground. You, who can so simply direct the masses with your dynamic and resounding voice.

And you, over there, sitting against the wall, quietly taking it all in. Not a word has escaped your lips as you watch the “loud and brave” girls shine. We need you too.

I have talked to so many women who at some point battle with shame, finding they fit into one of these categories and not the other. I have listened as some of the strongest women I know, women who I deeply admire, tell me they think no one likes them, because they are too direct and assertive. They fall into a trapping stigma that women are only meant to be docile. Then there are the others, myself included, who think because we don’t say our thoughts for the world to hear, that our voice will never have a place. I have watched shame cloak us like a blanket, rocking us into a sweet apathetic place of discord amongst ourselves.

My sweet sisters, we need you. End of story. There is so much we can learn about conflict from each other. Please don’t shy away from someone who handles conflict differently then you; but if they are a woman fixed on God, humble and willing to learn as they teach, then lean in. Find out what helps them through conflict. Ask them how they handle confrontation. Ask them how they could handle a confrontation better.

Jesus has so much to say about conflict and confrontation. He did not live a life free of conflict while he
was on this earth. However, he maneuvered confrontation in a way that would ultimately bring unity among people. Unity is the goal. No matter your nature, you can learn to engage in great communication and to have any confrontation be constructive.

As one of the quiet ones I have always loved having friends whose personalities may appear stronger than my own. They challenge me. They have helped me grow. I pray for a hunger and eagerness among us to learn how to communicate and have constructive confrontations with one another where the goal is to lead us into a greater unity.

KNOW

1. You are needed. Your unique identity is needed.
2. How you engage in any confrontation matters. It is a topic, though challenging, very worth the study. We can all grow in our abilities.
3. The end goal is not to be right, but to bring unity.

DO

Some great resources are:

1. “Keep Your Love On!” by Christian author Danny Silk. This is a book that I personally bought multiple copies of (super cheap on Amazon) and passed them out to a bunch of my friends and family. That’s how good it is. It is a super easy read. He also has a blog on his website, Loving On Purpose, that has some amazing articles to help you in conflict and confrontation. Well worth the quick read.

2. Lastly, if you haven’t started diving into Brene Brown’s work, I strongly recommend “Daring Greatly.” In this book she talks a lot about cultivating “shame resilience” and learning “wholeheartedness”. I believe this is something that will greatly affect the love you hold, when a confrontation comes your way.

How Can I Be More Quick to Listen & Slow to Speak?

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."  

Romans 12:17-18

LEARN

Confrontation is hard, it's awkward, and it hurts.  No wonder most people avoid it at all costs, but we can't avoid conflict; it's a part of life.  The question is, when conflict arises how do we deal with it?  Do you retreat/ avoid?  Are you a full-fledged "let's hash this out now" kind of a person?  Do you sit on it for a while then bring it up later?  Do you bottle everything up until you explode?  Maybe sometimes we all are a little bit of everything depending on the timing and how big the situation is.

As a mom it's easy to tell your kid, "Treat others as you want to be treated."  But when it comes to practicing that myself it's a little trickier.  I give excuses.  I feel I have the right to respond a certain way or to be vengeful (even if it's in a more subtle way).  The Bible is clear that vengeance belongs to the Lord and what I am supposed to do is be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19).  I am to be patient, to be kind and gentle, to forgive and to keep forgiving.  Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times'."

Isn't it so difficult to swallow the fact that when we've been wronged over and over again we are still commanded to forgive?  It doesn't feel fair when at times what you do in comparison is "not that bad."  Well, one harsh realization that I've come to learn recently is that yes, I am "that bad."  The intents of my heart are so wicked and I don't trust God in my relationships.  I want to take matters into my own hands.  My actions often show that I lack the belief that God is in control and that He is good no matter what the outcome of the situation is. 

Forgiving someone does not mean you allow them to trample over you or keep hurting you.  By no means.  There is righteous anger when justice is compromised and the Lord is being misrepresented.  Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry and do not sin..."  At times we will get angry, but what I choose to do in my anger reveals the depths of my heart.

This is where putting the Word into practice comes into play.  For instance, when my husband and I have disagreements we need to sort through, I have to make the choice: am I going to be bitter and secretly hold things against him until I can no longer hold it in then explode when something triggers my anger?  Or will I prayerfully consider his side of the story, pray for him in my anger, and choose a time when we can both discuss things calmly and maturely? Many times I embarrassingly choose the former, but I’m trying, in the Lord’s strength, to choose the right timing and to speak in the right tone whenever I bring up that which is bothering me.  

Resolving conflict requires humility on both ends.  Whether it’s your spouse, your child, your boss, a co-worker, a friend or a family member, we must, in humility, hear their side without thinking about how to counter their argument as they’re speaking.  It is difficult not to be defensive, but oh how freeing it is to affirm them and admit where I’ve been wrong and where I have failed. We always have room to grow, so there is always something we can change about ourselves.  That gives the other person a sense of trust and respect. Now when it comes to bringing up offenses to the other person, we must, as best we can, not attack them, but lovingly show them what has hurt us and how it made us feel.

Lastly, tone and timing.  You can say one thing and your tone and when you bring it up makes a HUGE difference in how the person receives it.  It could be said two different ways, but if I want the person on the receiving end to actually listen and make a change, I have to be willing to make the change first.  Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” If I come in hot and ready to fight, it’s pretty obvious where that argument will end up…with two very hurt and angry people who aim to get their point across at whatever cost.  How much more quickly can an argument be resolved when we come into a situation prayerfully and calmly, with genuine humility, willing to hear the other person out? May we basque in the truth of God’s Word and trust Him when He says, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:8-9).

KNOW

1. Read Ephesians 4:31-32.  Are there any areas in your life where you can be more tenderhearted, less angry, less bitter, more kind, or more forgiving?

2. Are you quick to give your side of an argument or are you willing to listen first then give a gentle response?  

DO

Is there someone you need to confront about something but have been hesitant to do so out of fear or bitterness?  Prayerfully bring up your concerns to the Lord and ask Him to give you the strength to humbly confront this person in love.  

How Do I Not Hold on to the Things of This World?

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:24 NKJ

LEARN

Growing up I loved playing the game Monopoly. The excitement of getting all that money at once and setting my own bank up made me feel rich. The game promised fame and fortune if the dice rolled right. There was also the chance that I could end up in jail while others passed by waving, losing the possibility of purchasing property like the Boardwalk, one of my favorites. I always wanted to be the banker who was in charge of all that money. It made me feel so important but mostly secure, and in full confession, as the game went on if I saw I was getting low in money I would just quickly & quietly take money from the bank! Running low on money was such a fearful thought for me and actually continued throughout my years growing up. It is sad how money can have a hold on us like that. Jesus shares a parable in Matthew 25:14-30 where three slaves were entrusted with their owners property while he went away. He gave the first slave 5 talents, the second 2 talents and the third one talent. The slaves with 5 and 2 talents went and invested them and doubled their talents, but the slave with only one talent went and buried it out of fear of losing it. That slave would have been me!

Another story I love in the Bible that talks about money is found in Matthew 17:24-27.  “When they had come to Capernaum, those who received the temple tax came to Peter and said, “Does your Teacher not pay the temple tax?” He said, “Yes.” And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated him, saying, “What do you think, Simon? From whom do the kings of the earth take customs or taxes, from their sons or from strangers?” Peter said to Him, “From strangers.” Jesus said to him, “Then the sons are free. Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for Me and you.” This story has many lessons but for me it reminds me of when I managed my Dad’s Land & Development Company for 10 years from the age of 20 to 30. I was fresh off the turnip truck when it came to running a business and handling his accounts. Deals were being made, property was being bought just like in monopoly. The end of each month would come around and I would have many bills to pay. More than not, the week before the end of the month I could see we didn’t have enough funds to cover all the bills. My Dad each month would tell me with such a calmness not to worry because the good Lord would cover it, and to my amazement He always did! I can picture Jesus in the same calmness telling Peter in the story above to just walk down to the water’s edge, throw a line in the water, pull the first fish out, open his mouth and get the coin out that was in there. Wow, now that really took some faith! Working for my Dad, in the beginning I would still worry about money but as the years passed I learned to have the faith my dad had and together we would take that coin out of the fishes mouth that the good Lord would send. After working for my Dad I married my husband Michael and he went a little further with my lesson on money and taught me when finances get tight the Lord knows who we are and what we need. I love how that truth sets me free!

KNOW

In the story with Jesus and Peter, Jesus could have easily just *POOF* had the money appear for Peter, but he didn't. So why didn’t Jesus just give Peter the money? Jesus anticipated Peter coming in and saw he was worried about where they were going to get the money. He was teaching Peter to trust Him through showing him that though he may not always see where it is possible for things to come together, if he has faith they always will. In Peter’s case the impossible was finding a coin in a fishes mouth. The same goes for us, when we doubt we are making a case for our limitations, but with God all things are possible. In Isaiah 33:6 we read “wisdom and knowledge will be the stability of your times, And the strength of salvation; The fear of the Lord is His treasure.” Do you hold tight to the things of this world so much where you are missing out on the blessings of trusting Jesus? Mammon is Aramaic and means the treasure a person trusts in like riches, money, possessions, or property that is opposed to God. I don’t know about you but this makes me want to examine what and who I am serving and putting my trust in!

DO

1. Count your blessing not your mammon.

2. Take time to share the Lord, your treasure, with those around you.

Is Money Really Evil?

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 

1 Timothy 6:10-12

LEARN

I have to be transparent here, after all, I am a Christian so I have to be honest with you, right? This biblical concept of money has taken me some time, sisters!!

My first real wake up call with money was 30 years ago when at 29 years old the man of my dreams asked me to marry him. This was all blissfully wonderful until just a few days later he added the pretense that all my credit card debts had to be paid off before we said “I do.” Perhaps he had missed a few details about me. The mall was my close friend and Macy’s, Fashion Bug, JC Penney’s and I were closely knit from head to toe. Literally! All the way from the banana clip for my big hair down to my leg warmers, it cost money to look as good as I did! But in the name of true love, I paid off my debts so I could begin my happily ever after. Through time and maturity, I have become the bookkeeper in my marriage- I refer to myself as the CFO of the family. He brings home the bacon and I spend it and stir it up in a pan. My knowledge of dealing with finances and aiming to please my Lord and Savior has grown immensely as I confide my weaknesses and need for Him.
I honor God’s word as all knowing and I try diligently to obey His instruction and warnings about the authority and stewardship of HIS money. I have learned so much about personal finance and God’s faithfulness through the years. I only need to seek Him first and, as He has promised, all these things shall be added unto thee (Matthew 6:33).

So is money really evil? Notice that in 1 Timothy the apostle Paul refers to “the LOVE of money” as being the root of all sorts of evil. It is important for us to realize that money can be for good but we must keep God at the forefront. God says to seek Him first in Matthew 6:33. The truth of the matter is that my pocketbook tells the truth of where my heart really is. Money can easily become idolatry. Things and greed can give way to being the idols of our hearts. The Bible also tells us that we can not serve two masters. Matthew 6: 24 reminds us that we will be devoted to one and despise the other. We can not serve both God and wealth. So the question becomes, am I rich in good works? Are we using the money that God has so richly blessed us with to bless others? Can we be trusted with the money that the the Good Father has entrusted us with? The Bible says that it is God who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. (I Timothy 6:17) 

KNOW

Whatever situation you may be in with your finances, let God teach you and allow Him to mature you. In our house, we use the expression “Fall Forward”. Meaning, if you’re going to fall, fall forward, learn from your past mistakes and don’t give up. God is good. If you ask Him, He will show you and teach you. (Psalm 32:8) Keep records, start a journal of your bills and your financial goals, write it down! Don’t let those credit cards own you! God never wanted us to be slaves to money! Galatians 5:1 teaches us that God wants us set free! He tells us to stand firm, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery!
Be Thankful. God will take care of everything when you learn to trust him. Trust him with your first fruits. Begin to tithe if you don’t already. See what miraculous things God will do with your 10%. Invest in God’s kingdom. After all, it all belongs to Him. 

DO

Stay positive and hopeful! There is nothing you can do that will ever make God love you less or love you more. Our God is so good. As Paul says in 1 Timothy 6:10 do not long for money. Oh sisters, long for HIM! Long for our Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who died and rose again to set us free and allow Him to demonstrate His power and His everlasting love for you.

Are Finances a Family Affair?

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:10

LEARN

To my single and married ladies, let’s have some real talk about money. It wasn’t until I was married that I realized the importance of having a budget. And before being married, even though I never spent beyond my means, I was not living in light of my future hopes of saving for a home, to adopt children, or to give to others with my excess. In my single years, my extra money was for me to enjoy how I wanted. I was single and loved not having anyone look over my finances other than myself. To my single friends perhaps you are there, and to my married friends perhaps you wish you were there. I know I do sometimes. But that view of looking at money is wrong. Money is always a family affair. Whether that family be your future family or your present family.

A budget is restrictive, but purposeful. I have grown so much in terms of being conscious with my mindset now that someone else also sees my spending and we together have goals for where we are trying to go. However, I am learning now as a wife all that I could have been doing as a single woman to be more intentional with my future goals. I now see that where my money went was sadly where the posture of my heart was at the time. My heart was selfish. Even in the times when I had very little money, it was not the amount of money that mattered, but the posture of my heart- A heart unto God that I was and still am called to devote to him. I used money to satisfy the void of being single, instead of using my money to prepare for what God was setting before me. Instead of using my money to glorify God and prepare for my future I used it for myself, and still struggle with that temptation. So how can we as women be more intentional with our money no matter what stage of life we are in? 

KNOW

1. UNDERSTAND WHOSE MONEY IT IS
   Growing up when my sister and I would fight over clothes my mom would always say “girls, whose clothes are those?”  And she would always tell us “you do not own your clothes, your clothes belong to God so be kind and generous and let your sister borrow your clothes.” You can imagine how well that went over in our teen years. But isn’t that still true today? Only as adults it just isn’t about sharing clothes anymore. Don’t we forget so easily that our money is not our own, it is God’s. God created us, gave us our giftings that enable us to make money, and God allows us to have the money we do because he governs all. So what are you doing with His money? 

2. HAVE A PLAN
   This is key! We all need to have a plan for what we are to use our money for in order to pay bills and not rack up debt unnecessarily. Then if God gives you excess we also need have a plan for the excess. God has a plan for our lives, and so by his example we also need to have a plan because without one we live unintentional days. It is not that we have to always stick to our plan because the Lord directs our steps, but we are to have purpose to our direction and our spending is not excluded. What plan do you have for the money God allowed you to earn? Are you stewarding that money well? 

3. CONFRONT YOUR SIN
   Money is the root of evil. It is no wonder so much of ur sin comes out in the way we spend. If we are bored, we spend. If we are unsatisfied, we spend. If we are insecure, we spend. If we are happy, we spend. Don’t get me wrong, we all have to pay for things, but recognize what you are paying for and why. Are you trying to fill a void? Are you uncontrolled? Christ is the only one who brings us ultimate fulfillment and he is the only one who can control our desire to sin. Pray to him that he would fill you and help you. 

DO

So what now? What can you do today to glorify God with your money? Pray over your finances. Or first you may need to pray over the posture of your heart. Do you desire to glorify God with your finances? Do you desire to be intentional with your day? Check in with yourself and ask God to reveal Himself to you and where your heart is in all of this!

How Do I Find Comfort When I am Hurting?

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

LEARN

Although we may never see ourselves fully healed from all our problems, because we live in a broken world, there are wonderful strategies and practical things we can be doing every day to renew our mind in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. The next time you are in a funk, you start spiraling, or you are desiring to be more hopeful in the midst of your circumstances try checking in with yourself by remembering the acronym PEACE.

-Pause. Eat. Acknowledge. Commune. Equip.-

1. PAUSE

   Before you allow your mind to drift too far into negative thoughts, take control of your reactions. Pause. Take a deep breath and lean away from catastrophizing and lean into truth. “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

2. EAT

   This one is self-explanatory yet often overlooked. Many times when our minds begin to spin, it is because we haven’t checked in with our bodies. Have you had water today? When was the last time you ate? What kinds of food have you been eating? Our physical health can wreak havoc on our minds, so before you allow your emotions to take over, be aware of what your body may be telling you. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

3. ACKNOWLEDGE

   After you have regrouped a bit, taken a pause, and nourished your body, then you can regroup and come back to your emotions from a more level place. As you begin acknowledging your feelings, be aware of your tendency to spiral and try to reflectively and evenly process where you are. Journaling can often be helpful because it causes you to slow down enough to process your thoughts and write down more concretely where you are at. “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

4. COMMUNE

   Once you have been able to identify or acknowledge where you are, don’t leave those burdens to your own devices, bring them to God. God is an active God, desiring to commune with us, help us, and guide us through the work of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone in your sufferings. God not only brings you Himself, but His church are His hands and feet and your Christian community is ready to support you. Often times we think placing all of our burdens on God means we can just drop all of our stuff and wait for Him to do something about it all. This is partially true, as God works in our lives and is in control, however we are called to be active participants in bringing Him glory through prayer, petition, repentance, and proclamation. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

5. EQUIP

   There may be many things you do not have any control over in your situation, but there are always things you can be doing that strengthen you and are God glorifying. How can you equip yourself in the midst of your sin and brokenness to still choose joy. What decisions can you make right now to improve your current circumstances? How are you equipping yourself to grow more into Christ’s likeness? “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up THE SHIELD OF FAITH with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:12-18

Is Our Health a Matter of the Mind?

Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

-2 Corinthians 10:5  NKJ

LEARN

Mental Health is such a vast subject and is hard to write in a short blog all the areas it covers. I had to begin by just looking up facts and studies that have been done on the brain and found our brain to be so fascinating! Google search shares this about our brains...

“Your brain has all the power connections, wiring, storage, memory and processing power you need to function as a human being. If your brain is the hardware, then your mind is the software. It's the operating system that gathers, stores and manages information, using the massive processing resources of your brain. The unconscious constantly communicates with the conscious mind via our subconscious, and is what provides us with the meaning to all our interactions with the world, as filtered through your beliefs and habits. It communicates through feelings, emotions, imagination, sensations, and dreams. Traditionally, scientists have tried to define the mind as the product of brain activity: The brain is the physical substance, and the mind is the conscious product of those firing neurons, according to the classic argument. But growing evidence shows that the mind goes far beyond the physical workings of your brain.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, also has research about mental health showing that “75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. It's an epidemic of toxic emotions. The average person has over 30,000 thoughts a day. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make ourselves sick! Research shows that fear, all on its own, triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones. There are INTELLECTUAL and MEDICAL reasons to FORGIVE! Toxic waste generated by toxic thoughts causes the following illnesses: diabetes, cancer, asthma, skin problems and allergies to name just a few.”

The Bible teaches in Proverbs 23:7 ...“As someone thinks within himself, so he is.” I don’t know about you but I think I need to do some housekeeping up stairs! So, how do we cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ?

KNOW

God wants us to be transformed to be like his Son Jesus.  Jesus’s mind was totally focused on the will of His Father.  It all begins with our thoughts. What we allow into our minds determines the reality we live in. We are created in the image of God, full of love and grace. Through Jesus we have the power to change our focus from ourselves onto the Father’s will. Our Father in Heaven tells us to “be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. Prayer and meditation on God’s word is key so He can transform our mind. This requires stillness and practice. We all know what we practice we get good at!

Do you daily take time to be still before God so you may know Him more or is your day and mind filled with worldly busyness? “When you think, you build thoughts, and these become physical substances in your brain.”  Dr Leaf

What do you allow your mind to be consumed with? Paul shares “Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Philippians 4:8

DO

Take an inventory of your daily thoughts using a journal.  Next to each thought listed - mark if this focuses on your will or God’s will by using YW for your will and GW for God’s will.

As you begin to be still and practice Phillipians 4:8 above, you will see more GW’s than YW’s and experience God transform your mind into a much more joy-filled spiritual life, walking in unison with our beautiful Lord!

How Can I be Fully Known and Fully Loved?

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37

LEARN

Oh sweet sisters!

The capture of our topic this month has been a little challenging for me. I have mulled over what I could say to you to lift your burdens even a little. I ache to have my words comfort you, like a welcomed (and often much more needed than we admit) embrace. As I started my writing process, I asked myself, if I had met any woman, who in her lifetime, had not experienced, anxiety, depression, trauma, or hasn’t struggled her way through coping methods. Thinking of the women I have mentored and the stories of those who have mentored me, my heart could only repeat, “we are not alone in this.” If I share anything with you, I feel that it must be this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

You. Are. NOT. Alone.

You are seen.

You are known.

You are loved.

The experiences making up your story are unique, intense, and they matter. You matter. This topic is big. I hope this month you are able to takeaway some pieces that are applicable to you. I pray you don’t step away from our time here feeling unseen or unheard. Desiring to meet each of you where you were at and not only speak to certain experiences, I decided to share with you a little of what I have done in my own journey that has helped me through.

KNOW

• The world labels everything. It’s an attempt to grasp even a fractioned control over the things, in this world, which are simply uncontrollable. We, however, are not defined by the things that have happened to us. Yes, they shape us, but ultimately we are defined and identified by the love of Christ. I grew up believing in Jesus, however, after my own traumas and anxieties I wanted to know if He could actually help me. I began to study who Jesus is and what He has done for me. I also started to study, who He says I am. Here are a couple examples.
  We are the daughters of God, adopted, given a home, and heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17, Galatians 4:6-7

  We are conquerors, overcomers, survivors. We are victorious because of Christ. Romans 8:37, 1 Cor. 3: 7-12,

• I spent much of my life struggling to understand why we even pray, if God knows everything. If He sees it all why do I have to tell him how I feel? David is one of the best examples of vulnerability with God. He empties his heart of the sorrow, anger, and confusion he feels surrounded by. Once he has said it all, he is able to remind himself of who God is (Psalm 88 & 89 are a great example). Practicing this in my own life has incredibly deepened my relationship with Jesus and is something I am SO grateful for!

• I have found a deep-rooted love for the Word of God these past couple years. I try to meditate on it (renew my mind- Romans 12:2) daily. There are lots of different ways! I listen to worship music or a podcast. Daily devotionals are awesome quick tidbits of truth that help you to put the focus back on Jesus. Sometimes I pick a book of the Bible to work my way through (can I get a holla for dat Romans!) verse by verse, or chapter by chapter. I ask the Holy Spirit to stir a hunger in my spirit for God’s truth.

• I surround myself with mentors who know Jesus. If I don’t have one in my life, I make it a main focus to get one. “HOW?!?” I used to ask this too! I pray for one, and simultaneously get vulnerable and straight up ask the people around me that I admire, to coffee or lunch. If they are women with kids, I make it available to meet at a park, so the kids can play while we talk, or even just offer to meet at their house. I try to make it more convenient for them, because we are all busy, but if they are put in my life by God, I know I need what they have. (P.S. Good news, you are on the Women Becoming Whole website and there are resources here for you! Christian counseling is another great mentorship!)

DO

No matter where you are in your journey through anxiety, trauma, or both, the best coping strategies I know are the ones I mentioned above. Sometimes our current situation and coping methods seem like they have so much control over us that beginning the journey to health, or continuing on, feels like too much to handle. So, if this is the case, pick a single one to start. Start small, focus your energy, and watch as Jesus’ grace restores. He is not expecting us to fix ourselves before we come to Him. Rather, He invites us into the journey with Him. We are not alone.

How Can You Practice Contentment?

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

LEARN

Seasons of life pass by like the wind. Let's look at what King Solomon also shares in Ecclesiastes 1:13-14. “And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.”

I find myself clinging to God more as life passes by with a big smile on my face. What a seat we have in the arena of life as a Christian. We go through many seasons of our lives from birth to death leaving a trail of memories good and not so good. For myself at 59 with the golden years to come each season seems to build upon the last where I notice myself waining and the Lord waxing, less of me, more of Him, trying not to lean on my own understanding, heading for that smooth stretch of highway as my husband Michael likes to say. Which season has been the hardest so far? It has always seemed to be the one I just finished!

KNOW

Jesus is always with us and our relationship with Him is constant! Developing our relationship with Jesus, not in a religious way but having a constant personal relationship, one on one communion with Him is key in all seasons of life. Do you have this relationship with Jesus in all seasons? Do you believe He is always there with you? Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV) teaches us: let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

DO

Practice being content and aware of your communion with the Great I AM !

Where is Jesus in The Midst of our Now?

Because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Hebrews 7:24-25

LEARN

Hello Beauties!

I am so excited to be back with you again. I love having the opportunity to feel as though, for a moment, I can sit with you and relate our stories to one another. This last couple months I had a lot of big changes in my life that have required me to step up and show up in ways I haven’t felt equipped to do. Many moments I felt so bogged down by the weight of it all and burnout knocked on my door like a girl scout during a diet. I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. However, I had, and still have this nagging feeling in my heart like in this season it is essential I keep showing up. I do my best to do this every day. Yet, in the midst of it, sometimes it is hard to pause and take a look around at where God is in the season and what He is actually doing. I so often take on too much. I add too many things to the ever-present list. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things perfectly, especially the things I have never done before. Before I know it, I am exhausted and left wondering where the purpose is in anything I am doing.

Have you ever felt like that, in a season of transition? Maybe you just moved or started a new job. Maybe you recently graduated and are now navigating the world around you and processing how the day to day looks very different than it did in school. Perhaps you just became a mom and are transitioning into this new and completely life altering stage. Or maybe those little ones, are now out on their own, and after spending so long raising and protecting them, you feel whole new sense of “what do I want to be when I grow up?”

I want you to know that Jesus is with you in every single stage. The Bible talks about how Jesus literally is our advocate and is continually praying for us (Hebrews 7:24-25). How amazing is that!? That our Jesus who sacrificed Himself for us now sits at the right hand of God, and knowing all that we think and feel and go through day to day, advocates and prays prayers specific to us! That right there takes a burden off my shoulders!

KNOW

I just want to take a moment and honor your story. Where you are in the timeline of your life. Where you have been. Where you feel called to go. Or maybe this season is confusing because for the first time there isn’t a big to do list and call to anywhere in specific. Rest in the fact that Jesus is your ever-present help (Psalm 46:1). He not only leads, but He comes to comfort. Rest in the fact that because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are free to come before the throne of God, to make our requests known to Him, to be vulnerable with Him.

In my current season, I am learning a whole bunch of new things. I feel stretched, spread thin, and like those growing pains you used to get as a kid in your legs (anyone with me) are now happening in my spirit. During my time with the Lord I have been picturing going before the throne of God, and literally curling up in the lap of the Father, or sitting at His feet resting my head on His knee while He strokes my hair, and reminds me of my identity in Him. I am His daughter, adopted, and co-heir with Christ. These times, even if it is a 30-second deep breath at work, fixing my eyes on God is keeping me going.

DO

I encourage you to start asking Jesus to show you where He is in the midst of your now. Take it a step further and think back on times and seasons of your life that have been very challenging or in some way have robbed you of your joy, and ask Jesus to show you where He was in those seasons too. Maybe He shows you a picture, or it becomes one of those Jesus moments where you just understand where He is (was).

It is okay to be vulnerable with God. An amazing encouragement is reading through the Psalms. David was SO good at vulnerably laying out his drama before the Lord. Once in that place where David felt free to express his worry, frustration, or fear to God, he was able to move into a place of praise and encouragement reminding himself of who God is, and where God was in his season.

Here are some passages that I have found really encouraging through my seasons. May these give you a starting place.

Psalms 88 and 89 read together. David literally goes from despair to praising the Lord and it is beautiful and so relatable.

Psalm 56: 3-4, Psalm 34:4-5, Psalm 46:1-3, Psalm 126

Will God Never Give Me More Than I Can Handle?

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.  

1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

LEARN

We’ve all heard it and many of us have probably said it ourselves- “God will never give you more than you can handle.”  1 Corinthians 10:13 is a verse in the Bible that is often misquoted and many people use it as a Christian “catch phrase” to mean that God won’t ever give you anything more than you can bear.  I don’t know about you, but there have been plenty of times in my life where I’ve thrown my hands up and said, “God, I can’t do this!” The Scriptures are full of examples of people who cried out to God feeling like they were forsaken-Psalm 22 being a vivid example.  Psalm 88:1-3 says: “O Lord, God of my salvation; I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.” Jesus himself prayed, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death…My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:38-39).  

In this life, we are promised tribulation and sorrows, but we can also stand firm in the promise that God is our refuge (Ps. 16:1, 57:1, Prov. 30:5).  Saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” gives off the impression that God measures what He allows to come my way on the basis of my ability to endure it.  It focuses on self and not God.  My “handling” a difficult situation doesn’t depend on my own strength.  If that were the case, I would fail miserably every time because of my sinful heart.  It is purely God’s grace that provides a way for me to be able to endure life’s trials and unknown situations.  My being able to bear a situation doesn’t mean I will never feel like giving up or that I will never falter. But through the grace of God, He equips me and works in me to choose the right thought patterns and to make Godly decisions.  And when we face situations that are morally confusing or we are actually being tempted into sin, God always provides a way of escape, which is the context of 1 Cor. 10:13.  2 Cor. 9:8 says: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” Acts 2:13 says: “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

It is Christ alone, in us, who gives the strength to bear whatever it is we are facing.  Whether it’s embracing constant change in our lives, whether we are facing financial hardship, broken relationships, feeling completely overwhelmed by the demands placed before us, He is the one who withholds us and we are not independent of God’s mighty hand to help us do what we ought.  As John Pipers states: “God will never give his people trials in which he will not sustain them to bring them through to everlasting glory.”

Even now, my family and I are facing the transition of moving across the country in a few months where country life reigns supreme.  This city girl will have a lot to adapt to, but more importantly, I will be put in a position where I must rely on Christ to meet some pretty deep needs.  My husband will be deploying often and will be doing much training as is required for his particular job. Many people will often say to me after finding out that I am a Military wife, “I don’t know how you do it!  I could never do that.” I never thought I could “handle” this lifestyle either, but it is God who sustains me and my family. It is God who equips me to walk through this life as a Marine wife, to face so much uncertainty, too many unknowns, and countless times of patiently waiting through transition periods.  We are often away from family and close friends. We must learn to make new friends and adapt to the life and culture of wherever we’re stationed at the time. I fear for my husband’s life as he does rigorous field training and overseas deployments. But through it all I can’t help but think of the words of Psalm 74:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

KNOW

1. Are you experiencing a time of change or transition right now?  Do you feel like it’s too much to bear and you don’t know how you can face so many unknowns?  Lay it before the Lord in prayer and be reminded of His truth through His Word and the promises He has for you.  Remember His faithfulness and His ability to help you face those times of uncertainty.

2. How does 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 give you hope?

DO

1. Read 1 Corinthians 1:8-9.  Confess to the Lord about a situation where you have doubted His faithfulness and His ability to see you through.