How Do I Not Fear Death?

2 Corinthians 13:5

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

LEARN

      I have always worried about death. I know I am not supposed to be anxious about death because I will be in heaven, but the question that concerns me is if I will make it to heaven at all! I have gone through times in my life where I look forward to resting in the word and growing in my relationship with Christ, but there have been many times where I have zero desire to pursue Christ. In the times where I feel a lack of desire for God I also begin to question whether I am one of God’s children and I begin to distance myself from Him out of shame. When I feel distant from God I can become a mindless person. I avoid my sin and place my efforts into anything that will distract me from such an overwhelming reality. I know this specific insecurity is not just unique to me, but something we all struggle with at some point of our faith.  This insecurity happens because we are sinners and we live in a fallen world where we easily disorder things that cause us to believe lies about the bible.

Take these three statements for example.

1. I am a sinner saved by grace through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 2:8) 

2. Because of Jesus, God loves me and has forgiven all of my sins, and the sins I have yet to commit. (Romans 5:8)

3. I get to participate in Christ’s redeeming work and can be assured of my salvation. (Hebrews 3:14)

       It is so easy to forget truths about the bible when we fixate on one thing to the point that we lose sight of another and we begin to create false gospels. Using the examples above we can come up with many lies about how we earn salvation. When we believe our participation is what gives us our salvation and not Christ’s work in us, we will create a works based faith. When we believe God loves us, but don’t believe we are sinners in need of grace, we neglect the importance of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and our depravity. When we place our sin first and neglect God’s saving grace we will believe we will never be enough for God to love us. All of these statements are distorted realities about God. Realities God doesn’t want for us.  

       My fear of death and not going to heaven stems from thinking I have to earn my salvation, and at other times stems from taking for granted God’s love for me. Yes, we should test ourselves, we should be examining if we are in the faith because if we don’t our reality could be hell and that should cause us to worry, but we should examine ourselves in light of Christ redeeming us. If we don’t look at these simultaneously our disorder will continue to cause insecurity. When we allow our insecurities to dictate our beliefs instead of seeking the truth in the word we will continue down a path that will cause us to mindlessly fill our days with thoughts and tasks that ultimately do not matter.

       God desires for us to participate in his work and devote ourselves to him but not because we feel guilty or obligated. God desires us to devote ourselves to him and continue to persevere out of a spirit of gratefulness that even as sinners we are deeply loved and forgiven by a God whose steadfast love will never run out “but the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him” Psalm 103:17. Let us fear the greatness of the Lord and the one who conquered death instead of fearing death itself. Fearing death just leads to death, but fearing God leads to eternal life.    

KNOW

       Meditate on the words of this song and reflect on what you struggle to believe about the words. If you want to listen to it simultaneously you can check out this youtube video of the song as well. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=936BapRFHaQ

He Will Hold Me Fast
 

When I fear my faith will fail

Christ will hold me fast

When the tempter would prevail

He will hold me fast

I could never keep my hold

Through life's fearful path

For my love is often cold

He must hold me fast

[Chorus]

He will hold me fast

He will hold me fast

For my Savior loves me so

He will hold me fast

[Verse 2]

Those He saves are His delight

Christ will hold me fast

Precious in His holy sight

He will hold me fast

He'll not let my soul be lost

His promises shall last

Bought by Him at such a cost

He will hold me fast

[Chorus]

He will hold me fast

He will hold me fast

For my Savior loves me so

He will hold me fast

[Verse 3]

For my life He bled and died

Christ will hold me fast

Justice has been satisfied

He will hold me fast

Raised with Him to endless life

He will hold me fast

Till our faith is turned to sight

When He comes at last

[Chorus]

He will hold me fast

He will hold me fast

For my Savior loves me so

He will hold me fast

He will hold me fast

He will hold me fast

For my Savior loves me so

He will hold me fast

DO

       Go on a walk and look around at the common graces God has given you through your five senses. Acknowledge his love for you.

1. Breathe in the smells and thank God for the things you smell

2. Look around you and thank God for the things you see

3. Touch the plants, animals, flowers and thank God for the things you touch

4. Listen as you walk and thank God for the noises you hear

When you come home….

    5. Drink some water, taste the crispness and thank God for the things you taste

What Can We do About our Self-Image?

Philippians 3:8-9

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.

    My self-image has always been tricky to understand, but easy to disregard in terms of confronting my sin because of how drastically my own views of myself can shift. Through the years I have found myself sitting on one of those see-saws, alone, running back and forth trying to find balance and obviously failing because see-saws were never made to function with just one person on them. On one end I struggle with being insecure and on the other end I struggle with idolizing myself. This sin in regards to self-image hits to the root of my issues with anxiety as well. I can spend time getting ready, thinking how marvelous I look one morning, and in the same hour have overwhelming insecurities about myself once I step outside and see other women out there who beat me in that department by way of my own standards. I allow my competitive heart to get the best of me and in those moments I either feel defeated or begin to make it my mission to figure out how to win.

    My vanity over the years has led me to obsessively workout, go on severely unhealthy calorie restrictive diets, shop too much, and probably look at myself way to much in the mirror to try and reach some form of success by way of my appearance. Most importantly though, my vanity has caused me to overly fixate on myself instead of God. The easy solution seems to be to stop thinking about myself and not care so much. However, when I go along with that thought process, I then pretend to not care and decide to eat what I want and exercise when I feel like it. What ends up happening though is that when I begin to see changes in my appearance I then run to the other side of the see-saw and fall into the self-depreciating talk of being ugly, fat, etc. Even in my insecurities I begin to also obsess over myself and fixate my thoughts on things other than God. Either way I end up putting too much attention on myself and far to little attention on God.

     It’s not just appearance that I struggle with in regards to self-image. I can pretty much pick out any area of my life and share my unhealthy relationship with where I seek my worth. I do this because I desire man’s approval, I desire my own perfection, and I desire what the world deems to be success. More often than not it is in these things that I define my self-image because my sin is a constant battle, and one I need to continually be aware of and confess. I fall short daily when I place my self-worth in things apart from God’s view of me as his image bearer. I do this because I crave the desires of my flesh. I even know the truths of what God’s word says about my worth being in Him and I choose to disobey because I am a sinner, in need of God’s grace. The most frustrating part is that there is not a list of things I can do in order to figure out how to master placing all my worth in Christ. I would rather continue trying to figure it out on my own than admit I need someone to sit on the other side of the see-saw for it to work. Looking in, it seems so simple, but my pride gets in the way and I often don’t want to confess the stupidity in what I have been trying to achieve on my own.

      When I am honest with God and myself I know that God doesn’t desire for me to work on mastering a perfect lifestyle by way of my own ability, God’s truth guides me by ultimately revealing to me that he will rescue me from myself, even as I strive and fail. It is through my failed attempts that I can count everything as a loss for the sake of knowing Christ because without Christ I am nothing, and through Christ I am redeemed and given a worth far greater than anything I could strive for on my own.

When we can humbly allow God to rescue us from the trap of vanity, insecurity, and idolatry we will begin to see how to rightfully order our focus on him in all areas of our lives.

….Instead of seeking to gain the approval of man we can rest in God’s love for us (Ephesians 2:4-7)

….Instead of striving for a perfect body we can use our bodies to Glorify God (1 Corinthians 6:20)

….Instead of competing for our own glory we can fight to win souls for Christ (Matthew 28:19-20)

….Instead of focusing on our self-image we can focus more on learning about God (Jeremiah 9:23-24)

….What more can you add to this list??? ______________________________
 

How do We Deal With our View of Self?

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Learn

    Light is illuminating, it makes things hidden in darkness visible. When Scripture is regarded as the “lamp to my feet” (Psalm 119:105) it is because of its divine power to make known to Christians what is of God and what is not, to help us discern what is keeping us in the dark. In our weakest moments or most consistent struggles, we can take comfort that by coming to the light of Scripture we can see all things rightly, and therefore know how to respond in a way that glorifies God. The way we see will determine the victory in our struggles.

    As women, one of the major things that seems to rule our emotions, thoughts and actions is  our view of self. Most of us who struggle with self image would describe it as an experience of having feelings of rejection, loneliness, self-hate and shame. We all crave to be content with our self but the path we take to find that fulfillment will determine if we are walking in the light of Scripture or in light of the world.

     The bible teaches that confidence is found in Christ, not in our self (Rom. 5:1), that true contentment is learned and comes from depending on Christ (2 Cor. 2:10) and that a fulfilling life is present in one who hides in Christ's finished work, not in gaining self affirmation from the world (Col. 3, Rom. 5:2). Ultimately, self-forgetfulness for Christs sake produces hope and peace that is supernatural (Rom. 5:1-5).This kind of self-forgetfulness is not one that causes us to lose touch with self-care, but one that strengthens us because of who we are in Christ and gives us motivation to care for our whole selves the way that Christ cares for us.     

     The good news of Christ is our catalyst for this kind of humility. In light of the Gospel, a person struggling with a positive self-image may experience only a glimpse of the position of lowliness we have in the face of a holy God. We are the sinners that deserve not only to feel rejection in the degree that we have but far more. Yet in Christ, we have been made into a new creation (2 Corinth. 5:17) accepted and loved while we are still sinners (Rom. 5:8). Being Children of God, the Lord declares over us in 1 Peter 2:9 that we are a “chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for [God’s] own possession”, we are told that the image of the self is this, royalty because of Christ. The reality of who we are, is that we are Children of a king who adopts us into royalty. We are dearly loved (Eph. 5:1), a treasure that belongs to God forever (Psalm 48:14) and one that he delights in (Psalm 147:11). This is the hope from which to base our feelings of rejection from, this is the lense to see through as we are interpreting our self image.

    0ur cure begins with knowing how much we need a savior and committing from there to look to the cross. In trusting in Christ’s finished work we recognize that though we deserve rejection forever, he lavishes, riches of acceptance forevermore (Rom. 5:2). This is the image that we can hold in our heart, nurture with the Word and remind ourselves in the midst of self-hate. When our self-image fails to meet the expectations of the world, ourselves, or our community we can reaffirm our hearts that our hope lies in who we are in Christ. Our identity in Christ as his children will not change even when we fail, “if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself” (1 Tim. 2:13). God is faithful to extend grace as we seek to glorify Him. Praise God for the rest we can find in His promises, and a hope that is steady and sure!

Know

Grounding & Meditation print out recommended

Meditate on Scripture---->  Read each part of scripture from 1 Peter 2:9 as your breathe in and out, following the arrows with your finger for one minute increments (see fig. A).

1. But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation

2. A people for his own possession,

3. That you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Figure A

 

do

Arugula and Mushroom with Gluten-Free Quiche

Ingredients:

Gluten-free almond meal crust

• 2 cups almond meal or almond flour (I had better results with almond meal)

• 3 garlic cloves, pressed or minced

• 1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme

• ½ teaspoon salt

• ¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

• ⅓ cup olive oil

• 1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon water

Arugula, Cremini mushroom and goat cheese filling

• 3 cups baby arugula, roughly chopped

• 1 ½ cups cleaned and sliced Cremini mushrooms

• Drizzle olive oil

• 6 large eggs

• ⅓ cup milk

• ½ teaspoon salt

• ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes

• 5 ounces goat cheese, crumbled

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a 10-inch cast iron skillet or 9″ pie pan with olive oil or cooking spray. In a mixing bowl, stir together the almond meal, garlic, thyme, salt and pepper. Pour in the olive oil and water and stir until the mixture is thoroughly combined.

2. Press the dough into your prepared skillet/pan until it is evenly dispersed across the bottom and at least 1 ¼ inch up the sides. Bake until the crust is lightly golden and firm to the touch, about 15 to 20 minutes.

3. In a large skillet over medium heat, warm enough olive oil to lightly coat the pan. Cook the mushrooms with a dash of salt, stirring often, until tender. Toss in the arugula and let it wilt, while stirring, about 30 seconds. Transfer the mixture to a plate to cool.

4. In a mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, salt and red pepper. Stir in the goat cheese and the slightly cooled mushroom and arugula mixture.

5. Once the crust is done baking, pour in the egg mixture and bake for 30 minutes, or until the center is firm to the touch and cooked through. Let the quiche cool for 5 to 10 minutes before slicing with a sharp knife. Serve immediately.

Recipe from------>.  https://cookieandkate.com/2013/arugula-and-cremini-quiche-with-gluten-free-almond-meal-crust/

Need Less and Love More

          For most of my life I acknowledged I had a desperate need for love. This intense longing for love led me to believe that it was a desire that had to be met in every relationship. I was convinced that my relationships would fulfill my craving for love. To have this desire met was only natural, maybe even righteous. I was tempted at times when a relationship did not fulfill this need to limit investing my time, effort, intention and emotions. When I was not given love the way I desired, I built a wall that determined how much of myself I was willing to give.

          I was continually affirmed in my belief, not only from my own broken logic, but in receiving worldly and christian counsel through a therapeutic gospel that emphasized my “felt needs” as God’s will for me. I remember learning from a Christian Counselor that I have a “love cup” that must be filled and when it is not filled, it will be easy to experience feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety and anger. I left feeling empowered to love myself, and be relationally closest to those that gave me the feeling I craved. Sooner or later when man failed me, when I failed me, I felt crushed and empty. I soon experienced the weight of the stronghold this love cup really was. It was as if I were a slave to man, my feelings and utterly controlled by what I would or would not receive from others. I was allowing my happiness to rest on the inconsistent love from the world around me rather than the unfailing love of God alone.

          But, there is a different Gospel, one that illuminates needs and wants for what they truly are. As I retrace the lines that I read on sacred pages, I can’t deny that a “love cup” is the farthest thing I read about in God’s will for us, His beloved. Through the lens of the Gospel, in light of Scripture, most apparent is a call of pouring out. Pouring out our love, significance, time, effort, and affection for others. What God’s word expresses is a call for his Children to love Him and love people by not only setting themselves aside but entering into self-forgetfulness.

Philippians 2:1-8 says this….

“….complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself..”

          The Gospel explains that those who follow Jesus don’t look to people to fill their emotional need but rather love them for the glory of God (2 Cor. 5:14 ). We do not love others as if to gain a feeling of love that will fulfill our desires but rather we are filled by God’s love and so are free to love as Christ loved us (1 John 2:5-6).

          In fact, as His love pours into our hearts we realize we are not love cups that need filling, but rather as Edward Welch says in When People are Big and God is Small, “Our goal is to love people more than need them. We are overflowing pitchers, not leaky cups”. God's love gives us a satisfaction that is divine. Our good Father, is the Creator of all that is pleasurable. As beloved children, we experience satisfaction in God by knowing His love, “know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:14-19).

“Exchange your codependency on others for a dependency on God. ”

Mindfulness Activity: Renew your mind that you may be transformed (Romans 12:12 )

Know ------> Do

Pray:    

       Write a prayer of confession and desire. Express what behavior you want to “put off” in light of God’s word and pray for what you want to “put on” in light of the truth you know  (Ephesians 4:22-24). Read this prayer as often as you need to, as you seek to Glorify the Lord with your body & soul.

Meditate:   

-2 Corinthians 5:14 - For Christ’s, love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died for them and was raised again.

-Ephesians 4:22-24- to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt though deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in the true righteousness and holiness.

-Romans 5:5 - and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

-1 John 2:5-6- But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected.By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him out to walk in the same way in which he walked.

The following sources were used: ESV Bible, When People are Big And God is Small by Edward T. Welch

How Do You Persevere in the Midst of Suffering?

Philippians 3:1-14

Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh—  though I myself have reasons for such confidence.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:  circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  

 

learn

This text is such an important reminder of God’s grace in our weakness. Even in the first two lines we see Paul acknowledging how quick the Philippians (and all of us) are to forget, and how patient the Lord is in providing for us an abundance of ways to understand the truth of the gospel. It is a good thing he does this because this section of scripture is full of important concepts Paul is trying to address to Christians.

Here are 6 powerful statements Paul is making to the Philippians through the text.

1. Be wary of legalism.

2. Don’t underestimate God and overestimate your own abilities.

3. Believe in the sufficiency of the cross and the new covenant.

4. Our blamelessness is not enough to save us, but God’s grace in Christ alone is.

5. It is through Jesus that we can be assured of our resurrection that is to come, and until we are, he has given us the Holy Spirit to resist temptation on earth.

6. Press on in service to Christ until that final day.

So why are these statements significant for us to acknowledge as Christians living on earth?

Understanding these statements not only allows us to have freedom through Christ, it also gives us hope to move throughout life even when we might be experiencing more downs than ups. The beauty of Christ’s resurrection allows for us to no longer be bound by the law of the old testament. We no longer see the law as a way to work for our salvation, which is good news as we would all fall short. It is through Christ that we are given the freedom to be cleansed and strive for holiness not to make up for our sins, but to thank God for his grace to us because there is nothing we can add or need to add to our faith to make us acceptable to God. All we have to do is turn from sin and rest in Christ as our only hope in life and in death.

If we can actually believe that God is sufficient in our weakness, we can look to him in the midst of pain and where we fall short and continue on. We are shown that Jesus has already won the race for us when he conquered death to repay our sins. We are able to run the race with perseverance knowing Jesus has come before us and promises us victory in the end. As we are still running the race, there will be times where we catch a second wind and other times where we fall and get the wind knocked out of us and become discouraged- but we can have hope in knowing our perseverance will allow us to see the victory when we do finish the race He has marked out for us.   

know

Picture yourself actually running this race and envision Jesus at the end rooting you on. Set this as a daily picture engraved in your mind when you are struggling, or losing sight of the goal, and also as a way to be grateful for the support and love you have as you run the race. The more we can focus on Jesus, the less hopeless, frustrated, and anxious we will be.  

In prayer, ask the Lord to sustain your commitment to Him and strengthen you for the daily race  ahead.

do

As we run the race, we need sufficient fuel to continue the journey. Here is my favorite quick, healthy and easy Cauliflower Fried Rice recipe.

Chicken Pineapple Cauliflower Fried Rice  

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 garlic cloves, minced

¼ cup chopped onions

1 cup chopped carrots (I used baby carrots to save time)

1 cup chopped celery

5 broiled chicken thighs or 2 chicken breasts, chopped

2 cups chopped pineapple

I bag cauliflower fried rice (Trader Joes frozen riced cauliflower is best)

1½ tablespoon soy sauce (or alternative)

2 tbsp pineapple juice

Salt and pepper to taste

2 eggs (omit if desired)

Instructions

1. Heat up a frying pan or wok on medium high heat (about 5 minutes).

2. Add olive oil, minced garlic and chopped onion, saute until fragrant (1 minute).

3. Add chopped carrots, chicken, and pineapple, saute until the carrots are softened (5 minutes).

4. Add the cauliflower rice, add more oil if needed to get a more fried consistency.

5. Add soy sauce and pineapple juice to stir fry until everything is heated through (3 minutes).

6. Crack 1 - 2 eggs in center of wok, stir egg, and then mix to incorporate after cooked. (1min)

7. Adjust seasoning to taste and serve immediately.

*Tip: Cut the pineapple in half long ways, gut out pineapple inside and serve the food in the pineapple as the bowls.
(3-4 servings)  

How do I Discipline my Mind?

On Fridays I am usually in a better mindset to think positively about the day ahead, but most days my mind struggles. I bombard myself with my inner thoughts that are misleading, sinful, negative, and unhelpful. 

Why am I such a failure? I wish I was more like __________. Why isn't God coming through for me on this one? I want people to agree with me because i'm right, so why argue against me? I am so hurt and angry right now so I should tear my spouse down because it is HIS fault I am feeling this way. 

When we listen to ourselves more than talk to ourselves our mind will always deceive us. We must guard our thoughts and put in truths from the bible instead of truths we conjure up.

So, how can we practically do this?

1. Study the word and grow in the understanding of God's truth so you can combat the lies. 
2. Surround yourself with people who will speak honestly with you and point you closer to Christ.
3. Be a part of a church community. 
4. Practice mindfulness in times when your mind is running on you. Pause. Be present, and stop those negative thoughts and pray against them.  
5. Get out and exercise if you are able to. Walk, run, swim, bike, you get the idea :)  
6. Listen to and watch things that will build you up, not tear you down. 
7. Add your helpful strategies to the list! The more the merrier!
8. Press on, and repeat. This is a daily battle and it will not be fixed after completing this list. Be prepared to do this over and over again! 
 

What is Anxiety Like?

Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? I don't specifically remember having one, but I do remember Anxiety being with me since I was little.

My friend Anxiety was one of those friends that was ok in small doses but extremely frustrating if you hung out with him too much. Anxiety liked accompanying me on any days that involved something new, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable, like a first day of school or going to the dentist. Anxiety especially liked to be with me when I would have to give a speech in a class, or be in any setting with new people. As with any imaginary friend that kids have, everyone said I would grow out of having Anxiety show up, but that never happened. Anxiety followed me through high school, college and even to this day anxiety likes to be by my side for life's most stressful moments. Anxiety even makes some random appearances on days that are not frequent visitation times, like a normal day at work or while I am out with friends. Now that I am older I have tried more and more to hide my imaginary friend because an imaginary friend is ok if you are 5 but is embarrassing when you are 29. As much as I tried to hide Anxiety, he was a devoted friend who didn't back down from a fight. The more I would fight with Anxiety to go away, the more Anxiety got frustrated and it just made things worse. Many times I felt like I was the only one who had ever known Anxiety, but apparently Anxiety is quite the social butterfly. 

If you have dealt with Anxiety in any way, shape or form I am sure you can relate to my story. The greek word for anxiety is translated as “to go to pieces.” Fitting, considering when Anxiety presents himself I feel like I’m easily shattered into tiny glass pieces that don’t know how to go back together. Many times I wish I could be more like plexiglass; Strong, pliable, and when broken it at least breaks in large chunks instead of being shattered, leaving a jagged mess behind for others to clean up. However, Anxiety has shown me that allowing others to see my struggle and help pick up the pieces is not weakness but strength. Instead of ignoring Anxiety, I now listen to him and what he is trying to say. I have learned that instead of working so hard at getting rid of Anxiety, I should be adapting to how Anxiety affects me and learn better strategies for dealing with him. As I have become more aware of my triggers I am better able to manage Anxiety before it is too late and I become a shattered mess. There are layers to Anxiety and when I begin to see Anxiety popping up more and more I now use different coping strategies to try and keep Anxiety at a manageable level. I have come to realize that Anxiety might be a lifelong friend for me, but we have been working on setting better boundaries with each other when it comes to our friendship. 

Here are some holistic strategies I use for dealing with Anxiety: 

Mental/Emotional
-Play my guitar and sing
-Take a bath with candles, epsom salt and calming music
-Talk openly about my anxiety with my husband or friends
-Practice mindfulness exercises
-Work on being present in my thoughts instead of catastrophic thinking/ruminating

Physical
-Go for a walk with a friend or by myself
-Avoid sugar and caffeine
-Go to Pilates
-Surf
-Eat well balanced meals
-Bring snacks with me to avoid getting hangry and more irritable

Spiritual
-Pray
-Journal
-Read my bible/do a devo. 
-Talk to a mentor
-Listen to worship music

Aaaaaaand last but not least here are my top 3 favorite homeopathic remedies
for days when I need some extra help......  

Hyland's Nerve Tonic Stress Relief Tablets, Natural Relief of Stress, 500 Count

Traditional Medicinals Organic Nighty Night Valerian Tea, 16 Tea Bags

Yogi Kava Stress Relief Tea Bags, 16 Bags - 2 Pack

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How Do You View Progress?

Do you view progress in a mirror or a scale? It is easy to shame ourselves by stepping on a scale or looking up close at all the ways we wish our bodies were better. What if we truly started believing that being healthy has less to do with how we look and more to do with how we feel? 

There have been many times I have gone on diets & worked out excessively to try to reach perfection and perfection never came. I think there is a time and a place for diets and exercising more than usual for training or loosing weight, but it should also come with a warning label saying DANGER: THIS MAY BE ADDICTIVE AND LEAD TO UNHEALTHY LIFE PATTERNS. 

The lowest point in my journey came when after going through a life threatening illness I finally saw my body as skinny as I had always wanted, except it wasn't at all how I pictured it. My thighs finally did that miraculous thing of not touching and I had to get all new pants because of how frail I was. It was disturbing that I had no muscle, and essentially looked like a skeleton. The very thing I had always wanted to attain I realized could only be attainable if I get so sick that I was skin and bones. 

Everyone was created uniquely, and our bodies will look different. I am all for being fit and healthy, but for the people like me who would have to spend hours at the gym every day and cut calories so much to get a chiseled body and still fall short there should be a point where we say enough is enough. If appearance is the goal, we will always fall short. There will always be something more we desire when we reach that goal and find its not good enough.    

What if we listened to our bodies more, worked with the bodies we have and not try so hard to change them. What if we viewed our bodies to be useful not just for training to look a certain way but train so we can use our bodies to help others, have more stamina for playing with your kids at the park and more mental clarity to work and study to the best of our abilities.  What if we gave our bodies the rests they need on days where we normally push them in order to see better results. 

Next time we look in the mirror to judge our health lets not forget to examine the other part of us that can't be judged by a mirror.  

Walking for The Health of It

#MotivationalMonday   

My Happy Place

How do you start your weekend off right?

One of my favorite ways to spend a Saturday morning is walking around Mission Bay. If you get there early enough the water is still glassy and everything feels slower. As I walk the stretch along the interior of the bay I am refreshed, energized and at peace. With other workouts I enjoy like pilates, cross training, even surfing, there are times I find myself saying gosh that was such a workout. Walking however to me never reaches that point. I savor every step as I continue on, not knowing when I will choose to turn around. When I walk I get lost in the moment, lost in the beauty of God's creation. My soul finds renewal as I breathe in the different smells that pass me on my way and smile at the people who cross my path. It is my favorite journey. The journey that starts with a simple step into the unknown future without a need to figure out its path, as if being guided by the next moment of uncertainty is my path. There is beauty in being guided by your senses and trusting in where it will take you. I love the break it gives my soul. Walking causes me to reflect, pray, and be in community with others. It allows my fears to melt away as I am reminded of God's grace on my life as the clouds roll out and the sun comforts me and warms my body and soul.

-Jaime Jacinto